When you're a respected world champion, seeing yourself apparently portrayed on TV as a female mud-wrestler with an erotic interest in your opponent could cause you grief. And so it is with Julie Galvin, Ireland's top bog snorkeller. She complains that after she turned down an invitation to appear in a comedy series called 'Wonderwomen', the programme-makers hired a lookalike of her, introduced as a leading bog snorkeller, who got down and dirty in several respects with a character named "Liz Hurley", "a sexually confused small-town girl". Ms Galvin, a 38-year-old teacher, says: "I've always been up for fun, but of a clean nature." Such as submerging yourself in a bog. Murky waters indeed.
The number of players shown a red card by the referee of the Recreativo Linense v Saladillo Algeciras match in Spain last weekend as he abandoned the game following a mass brawl – a possible red-card record to match the three-second dismissal we mentioned last Sunday.
Beer festival of the week
Nearly live from Las Vegas, the latest in our occasional series of pointless drinking games – Beer Pong. No need to hold your noses, at least not initially. The game involves two two-player teams standing either end of a table laden with cups of beer, and a ping-pong ball, which they take turns to throw at the opposition's cups; if it lands in one,the opposition must drink that beer. The game is won by eliminating all the other team's cups. Not totally pointless, maybe, as a $50,000 first prize was on offer to last Sunday's 414 finalists at the Flamingo Casino, but no results posted as yet at bpong.com; perhaps they're all under the table.
Good week for
Phil Taylor, the world No 1 from Stoke, cruised to his 14th world darts title... Zoë Gillings, Britain's leading snowboarder, won the German National Championship... Mushtaq Ahmed, former Pakistanleg-spinner, granted a work permit to coach England spinners this summer... and Donington Park, granted planning permission for a £100m upgrade as the new British Grand Prix circuit.
Bad week for
Graeme Smith, the South Africa cricket captain, broke a finger as his side lost to Australia in the Third Test... Mike Tindall, England rugby union player, banned for three years and fined £500 for drink-driving... Daniel Langtree, rugby league player for St Helens, banned for two years after positive test for cocaine... and Bode Miller, America's World Cup champion, disqualified from a slalom because his boots were 2mm too big.
Wardrobe malfunction of the week
One would have thought the big freeze would benefit winter sports, but the annual dogsled race in Minnesota – cancelled in the past through lack of snow – is off again, this time because they've got too much of the stuff. And a skier at the Colorado resort of Vail on Thursday probably wished the pistes had been closed for the day when his seat on the chairlift malfunctioned, leaving him dangling upside down from one ski. Then he suffered a wardrobe malfunction: as the lift ascended, his trousers and pants were yanked up to his ankles. A photographer was present, but we're sure that, like us, you have absolutely no desire to see the pictorial evidence at thesmokinggun.com