Oh dear, what can the matter be? The Old Lady's president got locked in a lavatory. And nobody knew he was there. Tiago Mendes, Juventus's excitable Portuguese midfielder, has apparently been miffed at attempts to flog him to either Everton or Monaco. After a row at Juve's training complex last week he responded by bolting the club's president, Giovanni Cobolli Gigli, into the bog. An hour or so passed, says Gigli, before "Alessandro Del Piero [the team captain] responded to me punching the door and offered to break it down. I told him it was better if someone else did it, as he needed to keep his shoulders in good shape for the Fiorentina game. " Admirable professionalism. Gigli is now thought to be washing his hands of Tiago.
The value of jewellery stolen from former world boxing champion Floyd Mayweather Jr's Las Vegas house. A $100,000 reward is on offer, no questions asked. Except perhaps why he left that amount of bling lying around in the first place.
News in briefs of the week
More naughtiness in Nevada next year; Las Vegas Sin will be one of 10 teams taking part in America's inaugural Lingerie Football League. It's going to be gridiron, but not as we know it, Jim; instead of no-neck man mountains padded to the hilt, the players will be female models clad only in undies. Some killjoys are unhappy at the idea, claiming it trivialises the sport. Knickers to them, we say, while avoiding any gratuitous references to tight ends.
Good week for
Kevin Pietersen, England's new cricket captain, led a 4-0 rout of South Africa in the one-day series... Ronnie O'Sullivan, snooker world champion, won the Northern Ireland Trophy... and Valentino Rossi, won the San Marino GP to leave the Italian one win away from becoming the most successful MotoGP rider of all time.
Bad week for
Darren Clarke, Irish golfer ignored as a wild-card pick by Ryder Cup captain Nick Faldo... Scott Harrison, Scottish former world featherweight champion, jailed for eight months for assault and drink-driving... Joey Barton (again), given a six-match ban by the FA for assaulting a team-mate... Alan Curbishley, resigned as manager of West Ham after rows over transfer policy... and Britain's basketball team, lost a European qualifier to Israel 102-92 after overtime.
Gold rush of the week
In Sydney last week 265 women took part in the Stiletto Sprint, an 80-metre dash in high heels. heels. The winner was Brittney McGlone – hardly a surprise, since she is the national 400m hurdles champion. She was presented with a pair of gold stilettos, in a blatant copy of the ceremony in Mansfield which saw Britain's Olympic swimming star and shoe fetishist Rebecca Adlington awarded a pair of glittering Jimmy Choos. Seems the Australians are still smarting that we won more gold in Beijing than they did, but stealing our ideas, however naff, isn't going to make it any better.Reuse content