Rugby League is struggling for role models. Super League referee Steve Ganson was arrested following an altercation at a taxi rank in St Helens. And Sydney Roosters' forward Nate Myles was banned for six games, including the State of Origin showpiece, after being found wandering around naked in a hotel after a function for junior players. Oh, and he defecated in the corridor. They must clean up their act, and where better to look for a shining example than the Premier League? Hull's Geovanni has become a preacher for the Brazilian New Hope Fellowship Church in Hulme, Manchester, and his compatriots Fabio Aurelio and Elano worship there too. No sign of Joey Barton yet, though.
Number of metres that Keith Malcolm, a nurse, ran while on fire at the Alton and North-East Hampshire Agricultural Show, a new world record – eclipsing the old standard by 9.7m. At last we can actually say: "He was literally on fire."
Rearguard actions of the week
Many sporting icons end up doing pantomime. But the former 4 x 400m relay Commonwealth and European gold medallist Jared Deacon has taken it several steps further. At Gateshead last week he set a world record of 13.23sec running the 100m – as one half of a panto horse. But he still came second behind his partner Paul Donaghy. Jeffrey Lawal Balogun was running for the No 28 bus in Bromley, Kent, three years ago when he was spotted by a member of Kent Athletic Club who invited him for trials. In Birmingham this weekend the 23-year-old is seeking a a dream ticket to run the 200m at the World Championships in Berlin. Just don't tell anyone he missed that bus.
Good week for
Richard Dunwoody, former jockey, walks 1,000 miles in 1,000 hours in Newmarket for charity... Ocean Angels, Britons Fiona Waller, Elin Davies, Sarah Duff and Jo Jackson, first all-female crew to row across the Indian Ocean... and Lloyd and Elliott Saltman, first brothers to qualify for The Open since Seve and Manuel Ballesteros 26 years ago.
Bad week for
Nicole Bobek, former US Olympic figure skater charged with conspiracy to distribute drug methamphetamine... Coronation Street, soap opera moved from Wednesday evenings to Thursdays after 40 years to make way for live football on ITV1... and Sir Elton John's promotion company, facing a court battle over £36,000 compensation still owing for damage to Aberdeen's Pittodrie pitch sustained at a concert the singer played there five years ago.
Lavatory humour of the week
It's time for Outside Edge's favourite sporting showcase as East Dublin, Georgia, hosts the Redneck Games. Crowds in excess of 20,000 – not all of them related – lurched into Buckeye Park yesterday to take part in Bobbin' for Pig's Feet (raw, but sadly not floating in a bath of warm blood), Mudpit Belly Flop, Armpit Serenade, Big Hair Contest, Seed Spitting, Cigarette Flipping, Dumpster Diving and the more traditional Horseshoes – but with toilet seats. They were set up after the Olympic Games in Atlanta in 1996, in response to media suggestions that the Games would be organised by a bunch of rednecks. Sort of like a little sister to the main event, but we'd better not say that.Reuse content