Outside Edge: If you're going to lie, lie big

Paul Burrows is officially the biggest liar in the world, having won the annual contest staged at the Bridge Inn in Eskdale, Cumbria, at his first attempt on Thursday. The Southender's tale of how the Cumbrians stole their mountains and lakes from his home county, leaving Essex the dull, flat expanse it is, triumphed over tall stories of muggings by synchronised swimmers and rabbits on quad bikes. Burrows works in advertising, which some feel should disqualify him on the grounds that he gets too much lying practice – lawyers and politicians are already barred from entering on the grounds that they are "professionals". In other news, Edge has always known that the golf commentator Peter Alliss was the world's biggest something, and has now discovered what it is: Alliss was the heaviest baby born in Europe in 1931, weighing in at 14lb 10oz when he arrived in 1931. Suggestions that after being delivered he recommended some alterations to the doctor's grip remain unconfirmed.

£12m

What it could cost Carlton and United Breweries if Australia win the Ashes series – they've pledged to give a free bottle of beer to every adult in Oz if the home side triumph. Judging by the showing of Ricky Ponting's men in warm-up matches, though, they need some bottle sooner rather than later.

Yemenis have feet of clay in China

It's tough travelling from Yemen these days, what with airport security taking a special interest in your luggage and scrutinising your answer to "Purpose of visit" very carefully. So let's sympathise with the Yemeni men's volleyball team, who after being knocked out of the Asian Games in China last week claimed they had been distracted by the bikini-clad cheerleaders laid on by the hosts. "They had an effect on how we played," said team member Adeeb Mahfoudh, before spiking himself in the foot by adding: "These girls are very beautiful; I hope to watch them perform at the next match." Better news at the Games for South Korea's star baseball slugger, Sin-Soo Choo; his team's gold medal means he is exempted from national service, so can carry on earning millions in the US. The Cleveland Indians are currently paying the wages of Sin.

Good week

Glenn McGrath, the former Australian fast bowler married again two years after the death of his first wife... Ronnie O'Sullivan Snr, the snooker player's father was released from jail after 18 years... Haile Gebrselassie, the marathon world record-holder reversed his decision to retire after recovering from a knee injury... and Phil Taylor, got to round two of the Grand Slam of Darts after ditching his new glasses.

Bad week

Aidrie United, whose Remembrance matchday programme cover mistakenly featured Nazi soldiers... Tiger Woods, subjected to waves of hostile tweets after deciding to join Twitter... Mark Ramprakash, the prolific Surrey batsman will miss the start of the next cricket season after damaging knee ligaments while playing football... and Andrew Rosa of Florida, whose girlfriend smashed their television and attacked him with a hammer after he refused to stop watching an American football game.

Tyson refuses to make a meal of meat

Mothers worldwide can relax; Mike Tyson's desire to eat babies has waned. So much so, in fact, that he's become a vegan. "I've been eight months with this vegan stuff," he announced last week. "I ate, like, the tiniest piece of meat, and I woke up violently sick. It was vicious pain. And I realised meat's become a poison for me now." According to the New York Post, Tyson is also interested in opening a restaurant specialising in Jewish food. But other observers aren't sure the report is kosher. More animal action reported by Lizzie Greatorex, who claims that her African Grey parrot – named, confusingly, Pigeon – is a keen Manchester United fan, screeching out the players' names when watching games on television and squawking "Sir Alex!" whenever the cameras zoom in on the manager. Unlikely as it sounds, this report is given credence by the fact that, like all good United supporters, Lizzie and Pigeon live thousands of miles away from Manchester, in Cape Town.

Suggested Topics
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Caption competition
Caption competition
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: Front-End UI Application Developer

£30000 - £40000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: Front-End UI Application ...

Recruitment Genius: Digital Account Executive

£18000 - £26000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They work with major vehicle ma...

Recruitment Genius: Service Engineers - Doncaster / Hull

£27000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Domestic Service Only Engineers are requ...

Recruitment Genius: Employability / Recruitment Adviser

£23600 - £27500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: The Employability Service withi...

Day In a Page

Where the spooks get their coffee fix: The busiest Starbucks in the US is also the most secretive

The secret CIA Starbucks

The coffee shop is deep inside the agency's forested Virginia compound
Revealed: How the Establishment closed ranks over fallout from Loch Ness Monster 'sighting'

How the Establishment closed ranks over fallout from Nessie 'sighting'

The Natural History Museum's chief scientist was dismissed for declaring he had found the monster
One million Britons using food banks, according to Trussell Trust

One million Britons using food banks

Huge surge in number of families dependent on emergency food aid
Excavation at Italian cafe to fix rising damp unearths 2,500 years of history in 3,000 amazing objects

2,500 years of history in 3,000 amazing objects

Excavation at Italian cafe to fix rising damp unearths trove
The Hubble Space Telescope's amazing journey, 25 years on

The Hubble Space Telescope's amazing journey 25 years on

The space telescope was seen as a costly flop on its first release
Did Conservative peer Lord Ashcroft quit the House of Lords to become a non-dom?

Did Lord Ashcroft quit the House of Lords to become a non-dom?

A document seen by The Independent shows that a week after he resigned from the Lords he sold 350,000 shares in an American company - netting him $11.2m
Apple's ethnic emojis are being used to make racist comments on social media

Ethnic emojis used in racist comments

They were intended to promote harmony, but have achieved the opposite
Sir Kenneth Branagh interview: 'My bones are in the theatre'

Sir Kenneth Branagh: 'My bones are in the theatre'

The actor-turned-director’s new company will stage five plays from October – including works by Shakespeare and John Osborne
The sloth is now the face (and furry body) of three big advertising campaigns

The sloth is the face of three ad campaigns

Priya Elan discovers why slow and sleepy wins the race for brands in need of a new image
How to run a restaurant: As two newbies discovered, there's more to it than good food

How to run a restaurant

As two newbies discovered, there's more to it than good food
Record Store Day: Remembering an era when buying and selling discs were labours of love

Record Store Day: The vinyl countdown

For Lois Pryce, working in a record shop was a dream job - until the bean counters ruined it
Usher, Mary J Blige and Will.i.am to give free concert as part of the Global Poverty Project

Mary J Blige and Will.i.am to give free concert

The concert in Washington is part of the Global Citizen project, which aims to encourage young people to donate to charity
10 best tote bags

Accessorise with a stylish shopper this spring: 10 best tote bags

We find carriers with room for all your essentials (and a bit more)
Paul Scholes column: I hear Manchester City are closing on Pep Guardiola for next summer – but I'd also love to see Jürgen Klopp managing in England

Paul Scholes column

I hear Manchester City are closing on Pep Guardiola for next summer – but I'd also love to see Jürgen Klopp managing in England
Jessica Ennis-Hill: 'I just want to give it my best shot'

Jessica Ennis-Hill: 'I just want to give it my best shot'

The heptathlete has gone from the toast of the nation to being a sleep-deprived mum - but she’s ready to compete again. She just doesn't know how well she'll do...