Outside Edge: If you're going to lie, lie big

Paul Burrows is officially the biggest liar in the world, having won the annual contest staged at the Bridge Inn in Eskdale, Cumbria, at his first attempt on Thursday. The Southender's tale of how the Cumbrians stole their mountains and lakes from his home county, leaving Essex the dull, flat expanse it is, triumphed over tall stories of muggings by synchronised swimmers and rabbits on quad bikes. Burrows works in advertising, which some feel should disqualify him on the grounds that he gets too much lying practice – lawyers and politicians are already barred from entering on the grounds that they are "professionals". In other news, Edge has always known that the golf commentator Peter Alliss was the world's biggest something, and has now discovered what it is: Alliss was the heaviest baby born in Europe in 1931, weighing in at 14lb 10oz when he arrived in 1931. Suggestions that after being delivered he recommended some alterations to the doctor's grip remain unconfirmed.


What it could cost Carlton and United Breweries if Australia win the Ashes series – they've pledged to give a free bottle of beer to every adult in Oz if the home side triumph. Judging by the showing of Ricky Ponting's men in warm-up matches, though, they need some bottle sooner rather than later.

Yemenis have feet of clay in China

It's tough travelling from Yemen these days, what with airport security taking a special interest in your luggage and scrutinising your answer to "Purpose of visit" very carefully. So let's sympathise with the Yemeni men's volleyball team, who after being knocked out of the Asian Games in China last week claimed they had been distracted by the bikini-clad cheerleaders laid on by the hosts. "They had an effect on how we played," said team member Adeeb Mahfoudh, before spiking himself in the foot by adding: "These girls are very beautiful; I hope to watch them perform at the next match." Better news at the Games for South Korea's star baseball slugger, Sin-Soo Choo; his team's gold medal means he is exempted from national service, so can carry on earning millions in the US. The Cleveland Indians are currently paying the wages of Sin.

Good week

Glenn McGrath, the former Australian fast bowler married again two years after the death of his first wife... Ronnie O'Sullivan Snr, the snooker player's father was released from jail after 18 years... Haile Gebrselassie, the marathon world record-holder reversed his decision to retire after recovering from a knee injury... and Phil Taylor, got to round two of the Grand Slam of Darts after ditching his new glasses.

Bad week

Aidrie United, whose Remembrance matchday programme cover mistakenly featured Nazi soldiers... Tiger Woods, subjected to waves of hostile tweets after deciding to join Twitter... Mark Ramprakash, the prolific Surrey batsman will miss the start of the next cricket season after damaging knee ligaments while playing football... and Andrew Rosa of Florida, whose girlfriend smashed their television and attacked him with a hammer after he refused to stop watching an American football game.

Tyson refuses to make a meal of meat

Mothers worldwide can relax; Mike Tyson's desire to eat babies has waned. So much so, in fact, that he's become a vegan. "I've been eight months with this vegan stuff," he announced last week. "I ate, like, the tiniest piece of meat, and I woke up violently sick. It was vicious pain. And I realised meat's become a poison for me now." According to the New York Post, Tyson is also interested in opening a restaurant specialising in Jewish food. But other observers aren't sure the report is kosher. More animal action reported by Lizzie Greatorex, who claims that her African Grey parrot – named, confusingly, Pigeon – is a keen Manchester United fan, screeching out the players' names when watching games on television and squawking "Sir Alex!" whenever the cameras zoom in on the manager. Unlikely as it sounds, this report is given credence by the fact that, like all good United supporters, Lizzie and Pigeon live thousands of miles away from Manchester, in Cape Town.

Suggested Topics
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Latest in Sport
Caption competition
Caption competition
Latest stories from i100
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Financial Controller

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This is an opportunity for an experienced Fina...

Recruitment Genius: Telesales / New Business Development / Full or Part Time

£20000 - £28000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This global Events and Exhibiti...

Recruitment Genius: Digital Designer

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity for someone wi...

Recruitment Genius: Building Manager / Head Porter

£25000 - £28000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This award winning Property Man...

Day In a Page

Sepp Blatter resignation: The beginning of Fifa's long road to reform?

Does Blatter's departure mean Fifa will automatically clean up its act?

Don't bet on it, says Tom Peck
Charles Kennedy: The baby of the House who grew into a Lib Dem giant

The baby of the House who grew into a Lib Dem giant

Charles Kennedy was consistently a man of the centre-left, dedicated to social justice, but was also a champion of liberty and an opponent of the nanny-state, says Baroness Williams
Syria civil war: The harrowing testament of a five-year-old victim of this endless conflict

The harrowing testament of a five-year-old victim of Syria's endless civil war

Sahar Qanbar lost her mother and brother as civilians and government soldiers fought side by side after being surrounded by brutal Islamist fighters. Robert Fisk visited her
The future of songwriting: How streaming is changing everything we know about making music

The future of songwriting

How streaming is changing everything we know about making music
William Shemin and Henry Johnson: Jewish and black soldiers receive World War I Medal of Honor amid claims of discrimination

Recognition at long last

Jewish and black soldiers who fought in WWI finally receive medals after claims of discrimination
Beating obesity: The new pacemaker which helps over-eaters

Beating obesity

The new pacemaker which helps over-eaters
9 best women's festival waterproofs

Ready for rain: 9 best women's festival waterproofs

These are the macs to keep your denim dry and your hair frizz-free(ish)
Cycling World Hour Record: Nervous Sir Bradley Wiggins ready for pain as he prepares to go distance

Wiggins worried

Nervous Sir Bradley ready for pain as he prepares to attempt cycling's World Hour Record
Liverpool close in on Milner signing

Liverpool close in on Milner signing

Reds baulk at Christian Benteke £32.5m release clause
On your feet! Spending at least two hours a day standing reduces the risk of heart attacks, cancer and diabetes, according to new research

On your feet!

Spending half the day standing 'reduces risk of heart attacks and cancer'
With scores of surgeries closing, what hope is there for the David Cameron's promise of 5,000 more GPs and a 24/7 NHS?

The big NHS question

Why are there so few new GPs when so many want to study medicine?
Big knickers are back: Thongs ain't what they used to be

Thongs ain't what they used to be

Big knickers are back
Thurston Moore interview

Thurston Moore interview

On living in London, Sonic Youth and musical memoirs
In full bloom

In full bloom

Floral print womenswear
From leading man to Elephant Man, Bradley Cooper is terrific

From leading man to Elephant Man

Bradley Cooper is terrific