He hasn't enjoyed the best start to a Premier League career but things took a significant turn for the better on Saturday, with a goal against Chelsea, or "Chels" as their hardcore fans call them. It would have been particularly enjoyable moment for Beckford because his long and winding route to the top flight began as a trainee at Stamford Bridge. Admittedly, scoring against Chelsea isn't actually that impressive these days (who would have guessed that the removal of Ray Wilkins could prove so catastrophic? Teams normally improve when he leaves, not get worse) but we've all got to start somewhere.
When was the last time you felt sorry for an Australian? What do you mean, you never feel sorry for Australians? Surely even the most hard-hearted Pom couldn't help but sympathise with the hapless Doherty, who is perhaps the worst Test match cricketer since the late 19th century, when Aristocrats picked their pals for tours of the Antipodes. Doherty's stock ball – a non-spinning long hop – was never likely to trouble the likes of Kevin Pietersen, for all the pre-Ashes talk about how he struggles against slow left-armers.
I've always thought that the best way to respond to a defeat is with an outbreak of breathtakingly childish petulance, and Boris Johnson appears to be of the same school of thought. England, you may have read, were humiliated on Thursday when the bid for the World Cup got two votes (incidentally, what could possibly have made the bid team think the world would be impressed by a top team consisting of two toffs and David Beckham?). Well, the London mayor has hit back: Fifa executives will no longer get a free stay in London's Dorchester hotel during the 2012 Olympics. In your face, Sepp Blatter.Reuse content