Sport on TV: Going to heaven in a handcart with ladies and their tea trays

The women's Bob Skeleton World Cup came to a juddering climax on Eurosport last Thursday. The glamorous Barbara Skeletons careered down the ice on their tea trays at speeds of up to 80mph without steering or brakes, like some kind of demented school run – if the schools were ever open in the snow. Their courage and athleticism put into perspective any sledding you may have tried to do in the park recently. But you still wouldn't back them to reverse into a tight space.

Not to be condescending about their descending, this really was a chilling case of 'Desperate Housewives' as the "Sliding Mums", Britain's Shelley Rudman, all-American Barbie doll Noelle Pikus-Pace and Maya Pederson of Switzerland, went head to head in the top-10 rankings, all within a year of giving birth. It appears that assuming the position and then hurtling headlong at high speed is an excellent aid to conception.

Even the venue, Lake Placid, sounds like a US soap opera. And these ladies are definitely glamorous. They all seem to have long, flowing locks – apart from the spiky German Marion Trott, who stole the World Cup from Rudman in the final round – and they were introduced strutting down the launchpad as if it was a catwalk with their figure-hugging catsuits on, the the wind machine blowing their hair and all the dry ice and backlighting their hearts could desire. They even have something called a "make-up race". And when they crouch down and start to rock backwards and forwards for the big push-off, it's time for an ice bath.

But real supermodels are more likely to dive headfirst into a different type of compacted white powder, and there was no sign of a size zero in this sub-zero. These power-babes could clear the snow off your drive in no time.

We were told that Rudman's sled was made by "Bromley", namely her husband Kristan, the reigning world men's skeleton champion. Luckily that's one DIY job that didn't go horribly wrong or else he might have got a distinctly icy reception from the missus.

* ITV managed to show England versus Spain without missing any of the goals, though they could have had several extended advert breaks during the game, so long were the Spanish in possession. Tic-Tac, whose ad interrupted the Mersey derby, have recreated Dan Gosling's goal on YouTube for those who never saw it the first time.

The match was preceded by Britain Does The Funniest Things, which featured the Lancashire town of Darwen and the third annual Gravy Wrestling Championships. It was, as presenter Stephen Mulhern said, like watching "the dinner that prepares and bastes itself". On the 200th anniversary of his birth, what better way for Sir Charles himself to have seen how far the human race has evolved.

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Caption competition
Caption competition
Latest stories from i100
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: 3rd Line Virtualisation, Windows & Server Engineer

£40000 - £47000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A 3rd Line Virtualisation / Sto...

Recruitment Genius: Refrigeration and Air Conditioning Service Engineer

£26000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A successful national service f...

Recruitment Genius: Business Development Executive / Sales - OTE £25,000

£15000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an opportunity to join ...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Administrator - Fixed Term Contract

£17500 - £20000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: We currently require an experie...

Day In a Page

Sepp Blatter resignation: The beginning of Fifa's long road to reform?

Does Blatter's departure mean Fifa will automatically clean up its act?

Don't bet on it, says Tom Peck
Charles Kennedy: The baby of the House who grew into a Lib Dem giant

The baby of the House who grew into a Lib Dem giant

Charles Kennedy was consistently a man of the centre-left, dedicated to social justice, but was also a champion of liberty and an opponent of the nanny-state, says Baroness Williams
Syria civil war: The harrowing testament of a five-year-old victim of this endless conflict

The harrowing testament of a five-year-old victim of Syria's endless civil war

Sahar Qanbar lost her mother and brother as civilians and government soldiers fought side by side after being surrounded by brutal Islamist fighters. Robert Fisk visited her
The future of songwriting: How streaming is changing everything we know about making music

The future of songwriting

How streaming is changing everything we know about making music
William Shemin and Henry Johnson: Jewish and black soldiers receive World War I Medal of Honor amid claims of discrimination

Recognition at long last

Jewish and black soldiers who fought in WWI finally receive medals after claims of discrimination
Beating obesity: The new pacemaker which helps over-eaters

Beating obesity

The new pacemaker which helps over-eaters
9 best women's festival waterproofs

Ready for rain: 9 best women's festival waterproofs

These are the macs to keep your denim dry and your hair frizz-free(ish)
Cycling World Hour Record: Nervous Sir Bradley Wiggins ready for pain as he prepares to go distance

Wiggins worried

Nervous Sir Bradley ready for pain as he prepares to attempt cycling's World Hour Record
Liverpool close in on Milner signing

Liverpool close in on Milner signing

Reds baulk at Christian Benteke £32.5m release clause
On your feet! Spending at least two hours a day standing reduces the risk of heart attacks, cancer and diabetes, according to new research

On your feet!

Spending half the day standing 'reduces risk of heart attacks and cancer'
With scores of surgeries closing, what hope is there for the David Cameron's promise of 5,000 more GPs and a 24/7 NHS?

The big NHS question

Why are there so few new GPs when so many want to study medicine?
Big knickers are back: Thongs ain't what they used to be

Thongs ain't what they used to be

Big knickers are back
Thurston Moore interview

Thurston Moore interview

On living in London, Sonic Youth and musical memoirs
In full bloom

In full bloom

Floral print womenswear
From leading man to Elephant Man, Bradley Cooper is terrific

From leading man to Elephant Man

Bradley Cooper is terrific