Pity the poor bloke who has to sit next to IoS columnist Ian Holloway in the stand at Bloomfield Road, where Blackpool host Manchester City this afternoon. Ollie is banned from the dug-out for one game so if you are a season ticket-holder, you could find yourself alongside a diminutive, balding madman screaming and shouting for 90 minutes – enjoy the game! The other Tangerines, Dundee United, are at home to Celtic, while the Mersey derby is, bizarrely, a battle to get out of the relegation zone. Members of the Boston Red Sox may turn out to watch the Red Shirts/Red Shorts.
If you've got nothing better to do on a Monday night than watch Big Sam's Rovers leather the ball towards the sky for 90 minutes, then you ought to get out more often; Blackburn host Sunderland. And there is a British Lions media conference, though God knows why, they don't set off to Australia for another three years!
Eduardo will make an emotional (why is it always emotional?) return to Arsenal with Shakhtar Donetsk in the Champions' League. In the early kick-off, Chelsea visit Spartak Moscow, where the temperature will hover around the zero mark. Talking of cold, "they" (pub bores with faint whiffs of racism) like to say things like "the test for Sven Goran Eriksson will be taking Leicester to Leeds on a freezing Tuesday night in October – let's see if he fancies it then". Tonight's his chance.
A humdinger for Spurs, who go to Internazionale while Manchester United host Bursaspor and Rangers look to bore the pants off Valencia.
Man City are up against Lech Poznan (wasn't he the founder of Solidarity?) while Woy's Boys, Liverpool, have a tricky Europa League tie in Naples.
Neil Warnock takes QPR to Bristol City hoping to have more luck than last season when Freddie Sears' "ghost goal" was hilariously not given, when Neil was with Crystal Palace. Sadly neither Kim Jong-Il (junior or senior) will be present as Lewis Hamilton & Co enjoy practice at the Korean Grand Prix – it's in the "wrong" half of the country.
West Ham entertain Newcastle in a battle of the cellar dwellers while England's rugby league boys have a fight on their hands in New Zealand.Reuse content