The week ahead: 13/12/2009
Sunday 13 December 2009
And the winner is...The X-Factor. Expect a gazillion people to vote for Stacey (so my colleagues tell me) and line Simon Cowell's pockets while about eight people anoint Jenson Button as BBC Sports "Personality" of the Year. Meanwhile, snooker's Pukka Pies championship is getting very tasty in Telford.
QPR are playing (at West Bromwich) and surely there's a good chance the "dream team" managerial duo of Flavio Briatore and Bernie Ecclestone will be in charge. Expect Naomi Campbell to start on the left wing.
The top-flight clash between Manchester United and Wolves is one for the traditionalists. The Johnstone's Paint Trophy semi-finals are for modern-day masochists.
The start of England's First Test in South Africa. The hopelessly confusing referral system will be used, so don't be surprised to see more umpires walking (à la Mark Benson) than batsmen.
Wasps head for Bayonne in the Challenge Cup but, if there's a light shower, they probably won't want to play.
Swimming gets aggro with the Duel in the Pool in Manchester. Michael Phelps, who'd prefer it if it was Bong for a Gong, goes for the US against GB. At the Ally Pally, there will sadly be no Jim Bowen, Bully or dodgy caravan in sight, as the darts World Championships begin.
No need for lame jokes. It's Man United at Fulham and Liverpool at Pompey. Simples.
Latest in Sport
Liverpool injury news: Simon Mignolet set to replace injured Brad Jones but Dejan Lovren and Glen Johnson remain on the sidelines
Manchester United injury news: Angel Di Maria unlikely to face Spurs as Marouane Fellaini's 'mystery illness' turns out to be rib injury
Arsenal vs QPR player ratings: Could anyone outshine new Gunners hero Alexis Sanchez and who was worse than villain Olivier Giroud?
Manchester City team news: Manuel Pellegrini hopes to have Vincent Kompany back for Burnley visit but hopes not to risk Stevan Jovetic
Neil Warnock sacked: Tim Sherwood fits role at Crystal Palace
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Immigrants make UK racist, says Ukip councillor Trevor Shonk
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