Graeme McDowell is no quitter. So it was with brutally honest fervour that he confessed here yesterday. The Ulsterman actually chucked in the towel last week. And how desperate he was to claw back that damnable piece of flannel to wipe away the fury.
"Valderrama was probably one of the more embarrassing weekends I've ever had on a golf course," said McDowell. "I shot 81-82 and that doesn't do a lot for your confidence. Yeah, I did throw in the towel and I had a long time to think about it coming all the way over here to China. But, no, in my mind, it isn't far away."
How can it be when the shame cascades so painfully? "I was there in Spain in the third round and I held my hands up and went, 'Right I've had enough of this'," he said. "I started going for stupid shots out of the trees, that kind of stuff. It was a case of, 'Get me out of here and to Shanghai, so I can start at level par again'. Like I said, embarrassing."
McDowell happens to wear shame well. As perhaps the most down-to-earth denizen of the sport's rarefied heights he is the last one to crouch behind the excuses. When he touched down in Asia on Monday, still within 24 hours of his capitulation from can-win to couldn't-give-a-whatsit at the Andalucia Masters, he was ready for the sternest dressing down. He duly received it from Pete Cowen, his long-time coach, who is bafflingly still unsure of his long-term position.
Cowen, the archetypal straight-talking Yorkshireman, is not known for thrashing around a conifer. He reminded the 32-year-old exactly how good he is and so the pair went to work. The result was a 68 in the first round of the WGC HSBC Champions which left him four shots off Keegan Bradley's lead. And that included a treble-bogey six, courtesy of some rash topiary on the 17th (his eighth).
"In that session with Pete, I got my control back," said McDowell, who for the last month has been working with his former coach, Clive Tucker. "At Valderrama, I knew I couldn't aim at the right side of the course because I couldn't rely on my draw and I couldn't aim at the left side of the course because I didn't have a fade. I didn't have a shot in the bag. And I couldn't make a putt either."
Is this really the same McDowell who, last year, had the 12 months from the legends, if not the Gods? The man who lifted a major title few believed possible; and not any old major but the most testing, the US Open? Of course, he then followed up that personal glory with the most collective glory ever known to a golfer. Yes, McDowell was the man who secured the winning point at the Ryder Cup and therefore updated his celebrity from connoisseur to entire sporting public.
"The lows have felt really low this year but they shouldn't have," said McDowell, reflecting on a 2011 of the occasional close call mobbed by so many lost causes. "I should be able to look back on last year and realise those highs were so very, very high. But that's the thing with this game. We don't give ourselves the credit we deserve, but are pretty quick to start beating ourselves up. It's love and hate – and this year has been a hate relationship."
Many experts point to the switch of club manufacturer, to a ruinous dip into the endorsement goldmine which many a burgeoning hero has plummeted. Yet this far-from-poor workman is not blaming any multi-million-dollar tools. "I can confidently tell you it has not been the equipment this year – it has been the man behind the equipment," he said.
The first thing he should do is re-employ – full-time – the man behind the man behind the equipment. McDowell explained how much that session with Cowen on the range here on Tuesday "reminded me of the sessions we had last year". Despite McDowell's admission of doing an "Audley", the fire clearly still burns bright for this born battler. And as he peeped up at a heavyweight-clad leaderboard here last night, he could hardly not believe he was a contender again.
With the USPGA champion leading, and the likes of Luke Westwood and Martin Kaymer up alongside, the scale of the challenge and the rewards were tantalising. But then, maybe it was the sight of a certain Rory McIlroy, one shot behind, which inspired in McDowell the most giddying surge of adrenalin. His countryman and best mate has recently joined the same management company and, as a consequence, inevitably reduced McDowell's billing in his own office. "I'm happy to say I'm now No 2 at the Horizon agency," he said. "Rory will drive me on... we'll call it 'a friendly rivalry'."
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