Open Diary: Your essential guide to the Open

Greetings from sunny Cesspool

Far be it for The Diary to cause an international incident, but a "Postcard from Liverpool" published in The Washington Times this week and written by "The Rover" is simply too extraordinary not to share. Suffice to say that Liverpool and the US capital will not be getting involved in any twinning projects any time soon, and that some of our American cousins could use a little more of their legendary politeness at times. "The Rover is booked into a massive hotel in center-city Liverpool, a stunningly dirty port town that should be renamed Cesspool," the piece says, and then goes on comprehensively to slag off that venerable institution, the Adelphi Hotel. All we can say to that is: Sleep easy for the rest of your stay, mate. And have a nice day.

* ON THE back of that little bit of unpleasantness, now is the perfect time for an illustration of the amazing generosity of spirit of the people in this wonderful area. A senior member of Her Majesty's press corps, who shall remain nameless, yesterday found himself having to cadge his 90p bus fare to the course from a local pensioner. The generous old lady intervened after the bus driver was unable to break a £20 note that the journalist offered. She insisted she did not want repaying. Warms the cockles, eh?

* TO BUNKERS, bushes, dunes and fencing, we can now add lorry to the list of obstacles to be found on this course. After overnight rain, a food truck heading for the hospitality area here yesterday got stuck in mud and had to removed by a JCB, after a forklift truck was unable to shift it. The driver, Tim Kalayci, said: "I was trying to be a good Samaritan and got off the tarmac to let another vehicle past - big mistake." The lorry was treated by rules officials as a "temporary immovable obstruction", allowing players hindered by it a free drop. The nosh eventually got to its destination. Given the price of things here, that brought a huge, till-ringing sigh of relief from the championship's accounts department.

* AN UNKNOWN American professional was standing on the range here when he was approached by the PGA Tour legend Fred Funk, who offered his hand and said: "Thanks, buddy." "What for?" said Ben Bunny, for it was he.

"I no longer have the stupidest name in golf," said Funk.

Quotes of the day

"I've got two kids and I'll be changing nappies in a hour."

Anthony Wall, after his round of 67

"My target now is to hit a good tee shot at the first tomorrow and take it from there. I have to start again."

The former Open champion Paul Lawrie after his round of 76

"I think I've played myself out of it."

Padraig Harrington, following his 75

"My game is in there somewhere and, hopefully, it will come out tomorrow. If not, I will be on my way home."

David Howell, who shot 74

"I drove it in about every bunker I could drive it."

Luke Donald after his 74

"I didn't have much confidence... But I played with the heart, as always, and 74 is a good round."

Seve Ballesteros

"I've got more pressing things to worry about."

Howard Clarke, who is to take a break from the game to be with his wife, Heather, who is ill

Best shot

Tiger Woods, fourth shot, 10th: After his first effort went in the bunker, a vertical masterpiece put him three feet from the hole for a par save. Magical.

Worst shot

Woods, fourth shot, first: a two-footer for par, 1-50 on Betfair. He missed - it was like watching Albert Einstein getting 2+2 wrong.

Early first-round scores

GB or Irl unless stated

66 (6-under)

G McDowell

67 (5-under)

G Owen

A Wall

M A Jimenez (Sp)

68 (4-under)

M Fraser (Aus)

S K Ho (S Kor)

M Ilonen (Fin)

M Hensby (Aus)

S Garcia (Sp)

M Weir (Can)

E Els (SA)

J Furyk (US)

T Lehman (US)

C Pettersson (Swe)

69 (3-under)

N Fasth (Swe)

L Westwood

R Pampling (Aus)

R Allenby (Aus)

P Mickelson (US)

D Clarke

B Bryant (US)

S O'Hair (US)

L Slattery

F Funk (US)

R Sabbatini (SA)

R Rock

B Jobe (US)

70 (2-under)

J Senden (Aus)

B Dredge

F Couples (US)

S Verplank (US)

V Singh (Fiji)

N O'Hern (Aus)

A Romero (Arg)

R Karlsson (Swe)

M Campbell (NZ)

C DiMarco (US)

A Baddeley (Aus)

C Campbell (US)

71 (1-under)

S Elkington (Aus)

A Cabrera (Arg)

M Calcavecchia (US)

P Broadhurst

T Pernice (US)

S Kjeldsen (Den)

A Frayne

T Wiratchant (Thai)

R Beem (US)

M O'Meara (US)

*M Thorp (Nor)

R Green (Aus)

P Lonard (Aus)

G Ogilvy (Aus)

72 (par)

J Kelly (US)

B Andrade (US)

K J Choi (S Kor)

P Casey

T Hamilton (US)

S Micheel (US)

J Daly (US)

M Wright (Aus)

S Kapur (Ind)

*V Taylor (US)

T Aiken (SA)

A Marshall

J Bickerton

L Glover (US)

73 (1-over)

P Hedblom (Swe)

B Curtis (US)

*E Molinari (It)

Z Johnson (US)

S Dodd

K Perry (US)

A Oberholser (US)

Y Imano (Japan)

C Montgomerie

J Payne

A Bland (Aus)

S Drummond

S Lyle

J J Henry (US)

J M Olazabal (Sp)

74 (2-over)

L Donald

D Howell

B Langer (Ger)

S Appleby (Aus)

S Ballesteros (Sp)

P Price

J B Holmes (US)

B Bunny (Aus)

S Dyson

C Schwarztel (SA)

J Lyle (Aus)

T Purdy (US)

N Dougherty

75 (3-over)

B Lane

P Harrington

T Muto (Japan)

I Poulter

N Ludwell

J Maggert (US)

M Goggin (Aus)

J Donaldson

76 (4-over)

K Ferrie

T Herron (US)

Paul Lawrie

W Abery (SA)

W Bladon

M Pilkington

78 (6-over)

T Ichihara (Japan)

79 (7-over)

B Quigley (US)

* denotes amateur

Tee-off times for today's second round

* (GB or Irl unless stated; all times BST)

06.30 R Beem (US), T Wiratchant (Thai), S Drummond

06.41 F Funk (US), S Lyle, R Sabbatini (SA)

06.52 S Dyson, M O'Meara (US), C Schwartzel (SA)

07.03 R Rock, J Maggert (US), J Lyle (Aus)

07.14 T Purdy (US), M Goggin (Aus), *M Thorp (Nor)

07.25 R Green (Aus), J J Henry (US), J Donaldson

07.36 R Karlsson (Swe), B Jobe (US), J Bickerton.

07.47 L Glover (US), P Lonard (Aus), G McDowell

07.58 N Dougherty, M Campbell (NZ), M A Jimenez (Sp)

08.09 G Ogilvy (Aus), C Pettersson (Swe), C DiMarco (US)

08.20 J-M Olazabal (Sp), A Baddeley (Aus), C Campbell (US)

08.31 A Scott (Aus), H Stenson (Swe), J Guerrier (Fr)

08.42 S Ames (Can), B Crane (US), K Fukabori (Japan)

08.58 T Woods (US), S Katayama (Japan), N Faldo

09.09 D Duval (US), P McGinley, H Tanihara (Japan)

09.20 T Bjorn (Den), D Love III (US), A Buckle (Aus)

09.31 R Goosen (SA), T Watson (US), G Fernandez-Castano (Sp)

09.42 S Cink (US), J Edfors (Swe), T Clark (SA)

09.53 L Oosthuizen (SA), B Wetterich (US), S Khan

10.04 S Wakefield, B Van Pelt (US), B Hughes (Aus)

10.15 *D Denison, R Sterne (SA), B Rumford (Aus)

10.26 J Sluman (US), M Brier (Aut), D Smail (NZ)

10.37 H Mahan (US), U Park (Aus), C Rodiles (Sp)

10.48 G Day, B Vaughan (US), M Ruiz (Par)

10.59 J Bevan, W Perske (Aus), G Lockerbie

11.10 Sam Little, R Wellington (SA), D Parris

11.41 P Hedblom (Swe), S Elkington (Aus), J Kelly (US)

11.52 B Andrade (US), M Fraser (Aus), B Lane

12.03 S K Ho (S Kor), J Senden (Aus), M Ilonen (Fin)

12.14 M Calcavecchia (US), K Ferrie, A Cabrera (Arg)

12.25 B Dredge, B Curtis (US), K J Choi (S Kor)

12.36 N Fasth (Swe), M Hensby (Aus), T Herron (US)

12.47 S Garcia (Sp), P Casey, F Couples (US)

12.58 M Weir (Can), L Westwood, S Verplank (US)

13.09 *E Molinari (It), L Donald, E Els (SA)

13.20 J Furyk (US), R Pampling (Aus), G Owen

13.31 V Singh (Fiji), Z Johnson (US), D Howell

13.42 T Hamilton (US), R Allenby (Aus), S Dodd

13.53 B Langer (Ger), K Perry (US), Paul Lawrie

14.09 J Daly (US), S Appleby (Aus), C Montgomerie

14.20 A Oberholser (US), N O'Hern (Aus), P Harrington

14.31 P Mickelson (US), Y Imano (Japan), D Clarke

14.42 I Poulter, S Ballesteros (Sp), S Micheel (US)

14.53 P Broadhurst, T Muto (Japan), B Bryant (US)

15.04 P Price, J B Holmes (US), T Lehman (US)

15.15 S O'Hair (US), A Wall, T Ichihara (Japan)

15.26 T Pernice Jnr (US), W Abery (SA), J Payne

15.37 B Quigley (US), W Bladon, M Wright (Aus)

15.48 L Slattery, S Kapur (Ind), *V Taylor (US)

15.59 T Aiken (SA), A Marshall, S Kjeldsen (Den)

16.10 A Romero (Arg), A Frayne, A Bland (Aus)

16.21 B Bunny (Aus), N Ludwell, M Pilkington

* denotes amateur

Weather

Dry, bright and pleasantly warm, with a light westerly breeze and a maximum temperature of 22C.

TV times

LIVE 09.00-19.15, BBC 2

HIGHLIGHTS 19.15-20.00, BBC 2