The Hacker: I don't want to make a spectacle of myself but I can't see

After a lifetime of perfect vision, my eyesight has gone slightly wonky. I cannot claim it is a major contributor to my poor golf but having to ask my regular playing partners where my ball has gone has exhausted their patience.

So I've had my eyes tested and am awaiting delivery of my first set of spectacles.

When I began to have trouble picking out my ball in flight last year, the optician fitted me up with experimental glasses that had been designed specifically for the bleary-eyed golfer.

But I just couldn't get on with them and meanwhile my sight has rapidly deteriorated to the extent that I have absolutely no idea where my tee shots have gone.

It is disconcerting to hit the ball and have to wait for my friends to tell me in which direction it is headed. Their reaction varies from "good shot" to "oh shit" with a strong tendency towards the latter.

Now that I'm having glasses for everyday use, which includes doing my own ball-spotting, I can relieve them of their tedious and often embarrassing duty.

Unfortunately, the specs haven't arrived in time for this weekend's challenges, which include a medal and two knockout competitions.

So my opponents in the knockouts will have to keep a close eye on my ball for me but they will be comforted to hear that I haven't got past the first round in 10 years so the game might not last too long.

There is also a Bank Holiday medal tomorrow, when I will be continuing my long crusade to break 100. My first two attempts this year have both resulted in the humiliating score of 112 but my sense that I am on the edge of a breakthrough is still strong.

During these times of trial and hardship I am fortunate to have the company of others who are also suffering the agonies of trying to improve.

John doesn't quite come into my category. He used to play off six but 30 years ago decided to devote his time to sailing instead. He returned to golf last year but he can't recapture his glory days. He's stuck on a 20 handicap.

You can tell by his touches around the green that he used to be a good player but he can't get his swing going.

It doesn't help that we play at Royal Porthcawl. Few courses deal as harshly with wayward tee-shots and the rough is already bulking up for the summer.

But, even for a struggling player, the pluses of Porthcawl far outweigh the minuses and in Wednesday's sunshine the place looked a treat.

John had a lesson two days earlier and was very confident that he had found the secret. Sadly, the body doesn't always respond quickly to a change of style and he was hitting it all over the place.

I wasn't much better and in fact I won one hole because he'd lost two balls and I'd only lost one.

We both improved as the game progressed but his swing transition needs more work and I achieved a rare victory, two and one.

"You should have learned something very valuable today," said John as we trudged off to the bar. "Always try to play against a man who has just had a lesson."

p.corrigan@independent.co.uk

Suggested Topics
Arts and Entertainment
books
Voices
Caustic she may be, but Joan Rivers is a feminist hero, whether she likes it or not
voicesShe's an inspiration, whether she likes it or not, says Ellen E Jones
Arts and Entertainment
The Doctor and the Dalek meet
tvReview: Doctor Who Into the Dalek more than compensated for last week's nonsensical offering
Sport
Diego Costa
footballEverton 3 Chelsea 6: Diego Costa double has manager purring
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
3D printed bump keys can access almost any lock
techSoftware needs photo of lock and not much more
Arts and Entertainment
The 'three chords and the truth gal' performing at the Cornbury Music Festival, Oxford, earlier this summer
music... so how did she become country music's hottest new star?
Life and Style
The spy mistress-general: A lecturer in nutritional therapy in her modern life, Heather Rosa favours a Byzantine look topped off with a squid and a schooner
fashionEurope's biggest steampunk convention heads to Lincoln
News
Dr Alice Roberts in front of a
peopleAlice Roberts talks about her new book on evolution - and why her early TV work drew flak from (mostly male) colleagues
News
i100
Arts and Entertainment
Star turns: Montacute House
tv
News
i100Steve Carell selling chicken, Tina Fey selling saving accounts and Steve Colbert selling, um...
Arts and Entertainment
Unsettling perspective: Iraq gave Turner a subject and a voice (stock photo)
booksBrian Turner's new book goes back to the bloody battles he fought in Iraq
News
The Digicub app, for young fans
advertisingNSPCC 'extremely concerned'
News
i100
Arts and Entertainment
Some of the key words and phrases to remember
booksA user's guide to weasel words
Caption competition
Caption competition
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services

Day In a Page

The other Mugabe who is lining up for the Zimbabwean presidency

The other Mugabe who is lining up for the Zimbabwean presidency

Wife of President Robert Mugabe appears to have her sights set on succeeding her husband
The model of a gadget launch: Cultivate an atmosphere of mystery and excitement to sell stuff people didn't realise they needed

The model for a gadget launch

Cultivate an atmosphere of mystery and excitement to sell stuff people didn't realise they needed
Alice Roberts: She's done pretty well, for a boffin without a beard

She's done pretty well, for a boffin without a beard

Alice Roberts talks about her new book on evolution - and why her early TV work drew flak from (mostly male) colleagues
Get well soon, Joan Rivers - an inspiration, whether she likes it or not

Get well soon, Joan Rivers

She is awful. But she's also wonderful, not in spite of but because of the fact she's forever saying appalling things, argues Ellen E Jones
Doctor Who Into the Dalek review: A classic sci-fi adventure with all the spectacle of a blockbuster

A fresh take on an old foe

Doctor Who Into the Dalek more than compensated for last week's nonsensical offering
Fashion walks away from the celebrity runway show

Fashion walks away from the celebrity runway show

As the collections start, fashion editor Alexander Fury finds video and the internet are proving more attractive
Meet the stars of TV's Wolf Hall... and it's not the cast of the Tudor trilogy

Meet the stars of TV's Wolf Hall...

... and it's not the cast of the Tudor trilogy
Weekend at the Asylum: Europe's biggest steampunk convention heads to Lincoln

Europe's biggest steampunk convention

Jake Wallis Simons discovers how Victorian ray guns and the martial art of biscuit dunking are precisely what the 21st century needs
Don't swallow the tripe – a user's guide to weasel words

Don't swallow the tripe – a user's guide to weasel words

Lying is dangerous and unnecessary. A new book explains the strategies needed to avoid it. John Rentoul on the art of 'uncommunication'
Daddy, who was Richard Attenborough? Was the beloved thespian the last of the cross-generation stars?

Daddy, who was Richard Attenborough?

The atomisation of culture means that few of those we regard as stars are universally loved any more, says DJ Taylor
She's dark, sarcastic, and bashes life in Nowheresville ... so how did Kacey Musgraves become country music's hottest new star?

Kacey Musgraves: Nashville's hottest new star

The singer has two Grammys for her first album under her belt and her celebrity fans include Willie Nelson, Ryan Adams and Katy Perry
American soldier-poet Brian Turner reveals the enduring turmoil that inspired his memoir

Soldier-poet Brian Turner on his new memoir

James Kidd meets the prize-winning writer, whose new memoir takes him back to the bloody battles he fought in Iraq
Aston Villa vs Hull match preview: Villa were not surprised that Ron Vlaar was a World Cup star

Villa were not surprised that Vlaar was a World Cup star

Andi Weimann reveals just how good his Dutch teammate really is
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef ekes out his holiday in Italy with divine, simple salads

Bill Granger's simple Italian salads

Our chef presents his own version of Italian dishes, taking in the flavours and produce that inspired him while he was in the country
The Last Word: Tumbleweed through deserted stands and suites at Wembley

The Last Word: Tumbleweed through deserted stands and suites at Wembley

If supporters begin to close bank accounts, switch broadband suppliers or shun satellite sales, their voices will be heard. It’s time for revolution