F1: Red Bull mock reports of Sebastian Vettel 'hissy fit' by claiming 'Seb leapt out of the car and started foaming at the mouth'
The Red Bull spy posted a comical response to the report in which he also claimed the four-time world champion rode back to Switzerland on a unicorn and 'watching daytime soaps' with Mark Webber
Red Bull have hit back at reports that four-time Formula 1 world champion Sebastian Vettel threw “a hissy fit” during the recent pre-season test at Jerez by mocking the story, claiming that success has turned him into a “screaming primadonna” while making a very rude gesture towards chief technical officer Adrian Newey.
The comical update was posted via the Red Bull spy, used to bring the F1 community closer to the paddock. The reigning constructors’ champions have suffered a torrid time with unreliability in the build-up to this season, which gets underway on March 16th in Australia, and those troubles have carried over to the second and third tests in Bahrain on the Sakhir circuit.
After giving a brief update on the days’ action with new driver Daniel Ricciardo at the wheel, the Red Bull spy then turned his attentions to addressing the reports which came from “a major news broadcaster” earlier in the day.
“A major news broadcaster posted the story this morning, along with the line "No-one outside the team knows whether it happened or not, and those on the inside wouldn't say,” the post read.
“Eh? Run that by me again?
“I suppose it could be true. Maybe four World Championships really have turned him into a screaming primadonna. Perhaps what really happened is Seb leapt out of the car and started foaming at the mouth. He made a very rude gesture in the direction of Adrian, snarled at Rocky, kicked Ole in the spanners and then stormed out of the garage, saddled his unicorn and rode back to Switzerland.
“Meanwhile Adrian's lost his copy of the Illustrated Junior Encyclopaedia of Motorsport and says he can't design without it. Daniel's sulking is really starting to get everyone down, Dr Marko has decided to return to his roots and become a dubstep producer under his street name DJ Graz and, after his New York residency last summer, Christian's far more interested in street art than F1 anyway.
“Seb, meanwhile has sent us a postcard, and says he's really sorry for all the fuss. He'll be back soon but has decided to chill for a while by spending a couple of weeks watching daytime soaps and eating crisps 'round at Mark's house.
“Maybe that's what happening. It's certainly a rumour. No one outside the team knows for sure and those inside won't say...”
Despite the tongue-in-cheek comments, the spy did stress that the team are working around the clock to address the current reliability issues they are experiencing, and although the mechanics are “knackered” from the work, it is no different to when the car is a world beater like it has been in the past four seasons.
They have two more days before the final test ends, when attentions can finally turn to the start of the 2014 season in Melbourne in two weeks' time.
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