Wet otters, peeing in the pool and a swimmer's sex life: The best funny quotes surrounding the Olympic Games
Sunday 12 August 2012
The Olympic games is officially at the end of its cycle, we've laughed, we've cried and we've celebrated and here at The Independent, we've decided to bring you the funniest quotes from the London 2012 Olympic Games.
1 - “I was quite surprised by that. It is not OK to pee in the pool.”
David Cameron on Ryan Lochte and Michael Phelps’s revelation that they had peed in the Aquatic Centre pool.
2 - “I've been laying a patio.”
Beth Tweddle’s father Jerry, on being asked what he’d been going through this past week in the run-up to the gymnast’s last Olympics performance.
3 - “I swear, sometimes I think some Americans shouldn't leave the country.”
Carl Lewis on Mitt Romney’s Olympics gaffes.
4 - “They are glistening like wet otters.”
Boris Johnson takes predictable pleasure in a rainy day at the beach volleyball.
5 - “I didn’t rescue the nation from the depths of Napoleon Bonaparte, but you do the best you can do in your style of racing.”
Ben Ainslie is customarily modest after winning his fourth Olympic gold medal
6 – “You've got to be among the chosen few to get in. It's a prawn sandwich fest.”
Bradley Wiggins slams the ticketing fiasco.
7 – “They hide their wheels a lot. The ones for the bikes they race on are put in wheel covers at the finish”
Isabelle Gautheron, head of the French cycling team, provokes derision after suggesting Team GB could have “magic” items to help their performance.
8 – “Any time someone has looked like superwoman in the history of our sport they have later been found guilty of doping.”
John Leonard, executive director of the World Swimming Coaches Association, on the “disturbing” world-record breaking performance by Chinese teenager Ye Shiwen.
9 - “I'm now a legend, I'm also the greatest athlete to live.”
Usain Bolt on doing the double-double winning the 100m and 200m twice in a row.
10 – “We’ve won the Olympics!”
Katherine Copeland , Britain’s youngest Olympic rower, after bagging gold in the women’s lightweight double sculls.
11 - "I am unable to watch the Olympics due to the blustering jingoism that drenches the event. Has England ever been quite so foul with patriotism?"
Morrissey not quite getting into the spirit of things.
12 – “I’ll be spending time with the family. I think we’ll probably go to Nandos – a chicken in pitta medium with chips and perinaise.”
Nicola Adams on how she celebrated becoming the first woman to win boxing gold.
13 – “Look mate, this is my country. This is where I grew up, this is where I started life. This is my country and when I put on my Great Britain vest I'm proud. I'm very proud.”
Mo Farah is angered by a journalist’s suggestion he would have preferred running under the Somali flag.
14 - "Can you have a word please Chris Hoy, I got done in an Olympic lane last night in my car.'"
I think you should speak to Sir Steve Redgrave, he's got more clout than me!'
Sir Chris Hoy can’t help Andrew Flintoff escape a Games Lane fine.
15 - "I'm pretty amazed that I still split 45 seconds on a broken leg."
US runner Manteo Mitchell runs faster on a broken leg than any British 400m runner.
16 – “The support that we’ve had this week has been unbelievable and the crowd have been unbelievable and I’m just a bit disappointed that I haven’t been unbelievable”
Sprint freestyle swimmer Fran Halsall can’t hold back the tears after a disappointing week for Team GB in the Aquatic Centre.
17 – “You can never tell the difference between the original and the fake ones. All Nike products in the Egyptian Market are made in China. They all have the same logo. How can you know?"
EOC Chairman General Mahmoud Ahmed Ali passes the buck after Egyptian athletes are given counterfeit clothes.
18 – “I'm happy my parents didn't tell me off. They understand that I needed this."
Belgian cyclist Gijs Van Hoecke, the drunkest athlete at the Games, after being papped looking dreadful.
19 - "He goes out on one-night stands. He’s not able to give fully to a relationship because he’s always on the go.”
Ryan Lochte’s mother gives an insight into her son’s busy sex life.
20 - "It was the greatest day of sport I have ever witnessed. I dreamt that we would have a night like that but not in my wildest dreams did I think that it would actually unfold in the way that it did.”
Seb Coe on Super Saturday
21 - "A drunken guest threw a bottle … on the track! I HAVE BEATEN HIM … Unbelievable!"
Bottle-throwing thug has the misfortune of sitting next to Dutch judoka Edith Bosch.
Paul Scholes: Manchester United vs Liverpool - I don't understand why Brendan Rodgers was not more attacking against Basel
Jesus Christ plays for Chelsea - that's what one in five children thinks
Transfer Talk: Nemanja Vidic to return to Manchester United; Hazard to leave Chelsea; Sunderland want Radamel Falcao
Frank Warren column: Don't bet on Amir Khan landing pay day against Floyd Mayweather
Manchester United transfer news: Kevin Strootman move edges closer
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
Nigel Farage defends Kerry Smith 'ch***y' comment: 'If you are going for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?'
Nigel Farage's approval rating hits 'record low' as popularity suffers in wake of Ukip sex scandal
Pakistan school attack live: Taliban kill at least 132 children in 'horrifying' massacre
Sony hack: Angelina Jolie branded 'seriously out of her mind' in further embarrassing leaked email saga
Panic Saturday: 13 million Britons spend £1.2bn – while 13 million others across the country live in poverty unable to afford food