Jerry Higginbotham, Sergio Garcia's caddie, after the Spaniard's second place in the USPGA.
Teams have been known to shoot themselves in the foot, but this side is more inclined to blow its own head off.
The Australian newspaper after Australia's rugby union by South Africa.
I've tried surgical spirit, Friar's Balsam and urine in a bucket. Dip your hand in it. They are all pretty similar.
Graeme Swann, Northants bowler, on toughening the skin on his spinning finger.
The level of competitiveness from the Irish was a bit high for a friendly match.
French manager Roger Lemerre after Northern Ireland played France.
At least I'm not going to go home empty-handed.
World 100m record holder Maurice Greene after catching a bag thief at Seville airport.
What the reasons are for the way they are playing at the moment, is a mystery. Ruud Gullit, unable to explain Newcastle's disastrous start to the season.
Maybe an inspirational performance or two from the captain would help.
Gullit's agent Phil Smith, on Alan Shearer.
We've had a player sent off today, for allegedly putting his tongue down another player's throat. I've asked Stan about it, and he won't confirm whether he enjoyed it or not.
Manchester City manager Joe Royle on his captain Andy Morrison's dismissal after a confrontation with Fulham's Stan Collymore.
Compiled by Matt Hughes