Quotes of the Week

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Hump it, bump it, whack it might be one possible recipe for a good sex life, but it won't win us the World Cup. Ken Bates, Chelsea chairman, on the need to play the game properly.

The only way I would be interested in the England job is as a player-manager. Ron Atkinson, Aston Villa manager.

If they had the same spirit that runs through our team, they would be a different proposition. Sam Hammam, Wimbledon chairman, on the England team.

Where were you when Koeman scored? Manchester City fans taunting David Seaman at Highbury.

One Peter Swales, there's only one Peter Swales . . . Arsenal fans' response.

A lesson to the mother of football. Turkish headline after Galatasaray's 3-3 draw with Manchester United at Old Trafford.

When we get in front it seems to become a carnival. Two or three players began to treat it as a one-man show. Alex Ferguson, United manager.

I have more headaches than when I used to drink. I used to never get a cold, never feel pain. It's weird. John Daly, golfer, on being on the wagon.