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It's a bit like going to heaven without having to die first. Tony Banks on his appointment as Minister of Sport.

We stand on our own. We have won this without the help of the Premiership. It is not a chip on my shoulder, just a recognition that we have done it on our own. There is a terrible amount of jealousy towards Manchester United. I do not know why. Alex Ferguson, United manager, on his side's fourth Premiership title in five seasons.

The first thing is to congratulate them even though it sticks in your throat. Roy Evans, Liverpool manager, on United.

I think it was all over a while ago, actually. Alan Shearer, Newcastle striker, on the title race.

No one gave us a chance except for some paper in Bulgaria who said we would stay up. I am going to write to him and say thanks. Martin O'Neill, Leicester manager, after his side had secured their Premiership status.

I will be staying as chairman. No other idiot wants to come forward. Peter Hill, chairman of Hereford United, relegated from the Nationwide League.

He has has so many X-rays the only thing he's suffering from now is radiation poisoning. Alan Sugar, Tottenham chairman, on Darren Anderton.

The kids we had on the line against Middlesbrough last week were so young they were giving jelly babies out between them. Gerry Francis, Spurs manager.

My Mum set five or six chapels ablaze because she lit so many candles for me. Maybe now she'll shut up about me getting a proper job. Ken Doherty after beating Stephen Hendry to become world snooker champion.

I'm still world No 1 by a country mile. I'm only 28. I'm not gone yet. Hendry.

I've learned not to expect much from kids. Sixteen-year-old kids just want to have fun and I think that's what they should do. Monica Seles, former tennis prodigy, on present prodigies.