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We tried everything. But in the end we just weren't good enough. David Lloyd, England's coach, after the side's failure to prevent New Zealand's last pair putting on 106 to save the first Test in Auckland.

They bowled a bit short at me. Danny Morrison, the worst batsman in Test cricket, tells England's bowlers where they went wrong.

The biggest problem for England is that the rhetoric off the field has not been matched on it. If Jack Rowell had shut up and stopped talking all his mumbo-jumbo about interactive and expansive rugby, it would not have reared the weight of expectation. Geoff Cooke, the former England rugby union coach.

All the teams I have coached have won something in every season since 1984 except one. Some mumbo-jumbo. Rowell, Cooke's successor.

It's fear of being beaten up by the boss that keeps us going. Ian Woan, scorer of Nottingham Forest's FA Cup winner against Newcastle, on Forest's caretaker manager, Stuart "Psycho" Pearce.

They've always said I've a great first touch. Andy Mutch, of Stockport, after scoring the winner in his side's Coca-Cola Cup victory over Southampton 15 seconds after coming on as substitute.