Book of the week: What goes on tour stays on tour by Brian Moore

Former England international reveals what life's like behind the scenes when on a rugby tour

What goes on tour stays on tour by Brian Moore (Simon & Schuster)

Brian Moore retired from playing 17 years ago, and while he misses “the thrill of combat”, it is “the camaraderie and fun off [the pitch] that I miss even more”.

So it’s no surprise that the former England and Lions hooker takes the attitude that while rugby union tourists’ alcohol-fuelled antics are often puerile and irresponsible, they’re also highly enjoyable, so if you’re offended, live with it.

If you like being tied to a tree and made to sing Chanson D’Amour every five minutes while your captain pisses on your shoes, or fancy throwing a cat into a restaurant’s tankful of trout, then touring’s for you. But the ultimate bonding activity is a good singsong, says Moore with almost obsessional enthusiasm, and he helpfully includes the unexpurgated lyrics of rugby “classics” such as The Sexual Life of the Camel.

Defiantly non-PC, this offering will appeal to the more traditional rugby fan while confirming the prejudices of non-believers. Perhaps, as Moore observes of one particularly lurid incident, you had to be there.

Published in hardback by Simon & Schuster, £18.99