Brian Moore retired from playing 17 years ago, and while he misses “the thrill of combat”, it is “the camaraderie and fun off [the pitch] that I miss even more”.
So it’s no surprise that the former England and Lions hooker takes the attitude that while rugby union tourists’ alcohol-fuelled antics are often puerile and irresponsible, they’re also highly enjoyable, so if you’re offended, live with it.
If you like being tied to a tree and made to sing Chanson D’Amour every five minutes while your captain pisses on your shoes, or fancy throwing a cat into a restaurant’s tankful of trout, then touring’s for you. But the ultimate bonding activity is a good singsong, says Moore with almost obsessional enthusiasm, and he helpfully includes the unexpurgated lyrics of rugby “classics” such as The Sexual Life of the Camel.
Defiantly non-PC, this offering will appeal to the more traditional rugby fan while confirming the prejudices of non-believers. Perhaps, as Moore observes of one particularly lurid incident, you had to be there.
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