World Cup Diary
Monday 03 November 2003
Damage limitation operation: take foot from mouth
The Sydney Morning Herald is running a parallel World Cup for the absurd comments heard on television. Recent contenders include "Mortlock's just returned from a damaging knee operation", which sounds sort of counter-productive, or Eddie O'Sullivan explaining after Saturday's defeat just what Ireland will have to do to raise themselves for France: "Half will be professionalism, half will be passion - and the other half will be hunger." Unfortunately there is no prize for the best piece of commentary because this diary particularly liked an Australian presenter's reaction to an American centre's try against Japan when put clean though by the outside-half Mike Hercus. "Kort Schubert, bowled Hercus" would take some beating.
Legendary Terry Yorath receives rare gift of the gab
When Kenny Logan was passed the ball on Saturday, one Australian commentator said: "The Scottish winger is married to a television presenter who also happens to be the daughter of a legendary British footballer." That's strange, we thought Kenny was married to the daughter of Terry Yorath.
Talking of commentators, the Channel 7 man calling the Scotland v Fiji game had a dream come true. Some of these Pacific Islanders have difficult names to pronounce - by the time you've said "Rupeni Caucaunibuca", for instance, he's usually scored a try and the conversion's being taken. Obviously what is needed is for all players to have the same name. Step forward Moses Rauluni and Jacob Rauluni. The former went off on Saturday to be replaced by his brother. A World Cup first.
Congratulations and farewell Samoa, you have lit up the World Cup and can go home - as failures. Sorry to put a dampener on all this minnow-worship but this was the first time Samoa failed to progress to the knock-out stage in the World Cups they have qualified for.
Pornhub: Cheeky Liverpool fan uploads Philippe Coutinho wonder-goal video to adult website
Chelsea players allowed 20 minutes to celebrate, says Jose Mourinho after Capital One Cup victory
Liverpool vs Manchester City match report: Stunners from Philippe Coutinho and Jordan Henderson sink Manuel Pellegrini's side
Diego Costa keeps coin thrown at him during Capital One Cup final
Arsenal 2 Everton 0 player ratings: Who scored highest at the Emirates?
- 1 End of the licence fee: BBC to back radical overhaul of how it is funded
- 2 This restaurant has misunderstood the concept of 'cheese and biscuits'
- 3 Raif Badawi, the Saudi Arabian blogger sentenced to 1,000 lashes, may now face death penalty
- 4 Delhi bus rapist blames dead victim for attack because 'girls are responsible for rape'
- 5 PornHub turns masturbation into energy in bid to save the planet
New theory could prove how life began and disprove God
This is what it's like to be dead, according to a guy who died for a bit
End of the licence fee: BBC to back radical overhaul of how it is funded
'Jihadi John': CAGE representative storms off Sky News accusing Kay Burley of Islamophobia
Ukip would cut billions from Scottish budget to fund English tax cuts
Nearly 100,000 of Britain's poorest children go hungry after parents' benefits are cut