Sport on TV: Hype, hoops and the basket cases

IT was the first time Sky Sports had broadcast basketball live from America (NBA Basketball, Sunday), but Nicky Horne, presenting back in the studio in London, seemed to be getting the hang of things pretty fast. 'Orlando's starting five are very, very tall men, aren't they?' he said to his co-presenter Kevin Cadle. 'What's the reasoning behind that?'

Well, there's no harm starting with the basics, but not since Alan Partridge on The Day Today accused a jockey of being short has a television sports presenter seemed quite so baffled by the obvious. If a mild sense of unease slightly ruffled your enjoyment of last weekend's coverage, it was chiefly because you were wondering just when Horne would ask: 'That thing with the kind of string bag dangling from it - what's the thinking there?'

Nicky Horne presented Channel 4's first season of American football. Back then, very few people in this country knew much about the sport, and Horne less than most. The idea seemed to be that he would lead the viewer on a voyage of mutual discovery. Now Sky are backing him to do the same for the bouncy ball game.

Will it catch on? In America, there's barely a gable end that doesn't have a basketball hoop fixed to it. Here, of course, they're a rarer sight - dotted almost as lightly around the country as Sky satellite dishes. On the other hand, people are already wearing the merchandise, so to a degree the game comes pre-sold. Which is as well, since there were enough teething problems with Sky's coverage to ruin the healthiest appetite.

Take the studio set: two chairs, a couple of cardboard cut-outs, a rather precarious looking table with 'Sky Sport' written over it, a basketball and a hoop. It looked like a sports shop at the end of an especially well-attended closing down sale. And there sat Horne and the former coach Cadle, dropped - or slam-dunked - in at the deep end.

'We're talking serious basketball, here,' Horne said in his preamble, and indeed, this was a hot fixture to come in on - Patrick Ewing's New York Knicks versus Shaquille O'Neal's Orlando Magic, the top two teams in their league, dollars 350 million-worth of players assembled on one court. 'Kevin, we're not talking chicken feed here, are we?' We weren't. But we were talking a problem with talking. Off went Kevin: 'With endorsements, you're talking about that they will have more money worth than the gross national product of many countries.'

The simplest linking phrases were mumbled and mashed ('Welcome back, and before without any further ado, let's go back to Madison Square Garden'), but it wasn't just words that went wrong. The previous programme had over-run, so there wasn't time to put up the graphic bearing our presenters' pre-match predictions until 15 minutes in, by which time they lacked a certain drama. Also, we joined the game late: 'The score is 4-0,' said Horne as we went over live. It was 2-1.

Perhaps most remarkable of all, in the post-game analysis, Horne managed to confuse Ewing with O'Neal. Hard to confuse Shaq with anything - animal, vegetable or mineral. Little wonder that, as the programme wore on, Horne adopted the increasingly frenzied jollity of someone trying to smile while having their fingers slammed in a drawer.

The pictures were from NBC, but every time they cut away for commercials, we had to come back to Horne and Cadle to fill the gap. Horne spent the evening flicking an anxious eye at the monitors as if he was afraid a large, snarling animal might burst through them at any moment. In moments of acute conversational seizure, he was reduced to describing what he saw there: 'We just saw a shot of Michael Douglas, who's watching the game]' Passing from NBC's American commentators - assured, informed and somehow casually enthusiastic - back to London was like moving from next door's barbecue directly into a dentist's waiting room.

Horne held up a wad of foam-padded plastic the shape of a stiffened sleeping bag. It was one of Shaquille O'Neal's size 22 boots. 'Are these things specially constructed?' Did he think they grew on trees? If so, he wasn't alone. Cadle turned the object around in his hands. 'You only find this kind of a foot on a tree stump,' he said, mysteriously.

Still, at least the basketball was fluid - plenty of those long shots which don't seem to touch the net, let alone the hoop. One possible domestic crisis: basketball is, in a very specific sense, end-to-end stuff and a nation raised on football may have a problem with a game in which there's no such thing as a dour midfield tussle.

And what should we make of the fact that during freeshots, the crowd behind the backboard does its best to distract the shooter by standing up and flapping bright orange signs - or 'waving all that stuff' as Horne put it. 'Is that cricket?' he then wondered. No, not cricket: the players are generally shorter in cricket.

Suggested Topics
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Caption competition
Caption competition
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Career Services
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Experienced Bookkeeper - German Speaking - Part Time

£23000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This firm of accountants based ...

Recruitment Genius: Operations Manager

£30000 - £38000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They are a financial services c...

Ashdown Group: Field Service Engineer

£30000 - £32000 per annum + car allowance and on call: Ashdown Group: A succes...

Recruitment Genius: Sales & Marketing Co-Ordinator

£15000 - £17000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Well established small company ...

Day In a Page

Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi: The acceptable face of the Emirates

The acceptable face of the Emirates

Has Abu Dhabi found a way to blend petrodollars with principles, asks Robert Fisk
Nepal earthquake: One man's desperate escape from Everest base camp after the disaster

Escape from Everest base camp

Nick Talbot was sitting in his tent when the tsunami of snow and rock hit. He was lucky to live, unlike his climbing partner just feet away...
Adopting high fibre diet could dramatically cut risk of bowel cancer, says study

What happened when 20 Americans swapped diets with 20 Africans?

Innovative study in the US produces remarkable results
Blake Lively and 'The Age of Adaline': Gossip Girl comes
of age

Gossip girl comes of age

Blake Lively is best known for playing an affluent teenager. Her role as a woman who is trapped forever at 29 is a greater challenge
Goat cuisine: Kid meat is coming to Ocado

Goat cuisine

It's loved by chefs, ethical, low in fat and delicious. So, will kid meat give lamb a run for its money?
14 best coat hooks

Hang on: 14 best coat hooks

Set the tone for the rest of your house with a stylish and functional coat rack in the hallway
Not even the 'putrid throat' could stop the Ross Poldark swoon-fest'

Not even the 'putrid throat' could stop the Ross Poldark swoon-fest'

How a costume drama became a Sunday night staple
Miliband promises no stamp duty for first-time buyers as he pushes Tories on housing

Miliband promises no stamp duty for first-time buyers

Labour leader pushes Tories on housing
Aviation history is littered with grand failures - from the the Bristol Brabazon to Concorde - but what went wrong with the SuperJumbo?

Aviation history is littered with grand failures

But what went wrong with the SuperJumbo?
Fear of Putin, Islamists and immigration is giving rise to a new generation of Soviet-style 'iron curtains' right across Europe

Fortress Europe?

Fear of Putin, Islamists and immigration is giving rise to a new generation of 'iron curtains'
Never mind what you're wearing, it's what you're reclining on

Never mind what you're wearing

It's what you're reclining on that matters
General Election 2015: Chuka Umunna on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband

Chuka Umunna: A virus of racism runs through Ukip

The shadow business secretary on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband
Yemen crisis: This exotic war will soon become Europe's problem

Yemen's exotic war will soon affect Europe

Terrorism and boatloads of desperate migrants will be the outcome of the Saudi air campaign, says Patrick Cockburn
Marginal Streets project aims to document voters in the run-up to the General Election

Marginal Streets project documents voters

Independent photographers Joseph Fox and Orlando Gili are uploading two portraits of constituents to their website for each day of the campaign
Game of Thrones: Visit the real-life kingdom of Westeros to see where violent history ends and telly tourism begins

The real-life kingdom of Westeros

Is there something a little uncomfortable about Game of Thrones shooting in Northern Ireland?