Sport: Quotes of the week

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My wife usually backs me to score but she didn't last night because she is so out of pocket. Ian Culverhouse, Norwich footballer, on his shock goal against Everton. He was 100-1 with Ladbrokes.

Cantona stamped on me. I have the marks to prove it. But I'd still vote for him as player of the season. John Moncur, of Swindon.

A couple of seasons in England would be a great help to my technique. Brian Lara, West Indies batsman.

I would have to shave, put my hair up into a hat, take off my ear-rings, not wear any Nike, and walk with my toes facing out. Andre Agassi, asked what he would have to do to go unnoticed in a shopping mall.

I'm not as fat as you. Diego Maradona, to reporter who asked if he was overweight.