Reading his description of Devon Malcolm's ordeal on Wednesday, one could be forgiven for thinking he was talking about Colonel Blimp rather then one of the world's quickest bowlers. He evokes a partially sighted salt-of-the-earth type who has mistakenly wandered out into the middle, there to find himself being used as a dartboard and a coconut shy. Even three dramatic visits from the physio cannot prevent our hapless hero from having his ribs pebbledashed. Finally - oh sweet release - he is dismissed.
However, anyone looking at Malcolm's score might well have remarked 'Dazzle mine eyes, I see three fours]' Anyone capable of dispatching 'this lot', as Mr Johnson calls them, thrice to the ropes can hardly be accused of confusing one end of the bat with the other.
Mr Johnson talks of Walsh going round the wicket as if it were a crime and speaks longingly of 'legal intervention'. As if this weren't enough, he has the gall to accuse the Gleaner of understating the issue. He may rest assured that his report has more than balanced things out.
London N8Reuse content