Sports Quotes of the Year: 'Was I responsible for Graham's appointment? People say I was, but I'm not so sure. I can remember Bert was sold on him from the word go': Verbal volleys, wars of words

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Oh misery, misery, what's going to become of me? Graham Taylor quotes Buddy Holly after the 2-2 draw with the Netherlands at Wembley.

Two bad results are not the end of the world. I don't think it's time for a new manager. Peter Swales, chairman of FA's international committee, after England's defeat to the United States.

Mr Swales is entitled to his opinion. I'm having no part of that. Sir Bert Millichip, FA chairman, responds.

Norway played football, England didn't. Norway were a team, England weren't. Dick Advocaat, Dutch manager, after England's defeat to the group winners.

When Napoleon was asked what he wanted from his generals, he said 'luck'. I don't think Napoleon would have wanted me. Taylor, after defeat in Rotterdam.

I used to quite like turnips. But now my wife refuses to serve them. Taylor after his resignation.

Was I really responsible for Graham's appointment? People say I was, but I'm not so sure. I can remember Bert was sold on him from the word go. Swales.

I could manage England part-time - and still walk the dog. Brian Clough.

Hump it, bump it, whack it might be one possible recipe for a good sex life, but it won't win us the World Cup. Ken Bates, Chelsea chairman.

Being manager of Barnet was like living with a double-decker bus on your head. Barry Fry, former Barnet and Southend United manager, now of Birmingham City.

Brilliant. Tell him he's Pele. John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, on being told that Colin McGlashan had a head injury and didn't know who he was.

I don't care who they are, Linford Christie or Ben bloody Johnson, I'll beat them over a yard. Mick Quinn, Coventry City's rotund striker.

The listening bank refused to listen and the bank that likes to say yes said no. Gary Gibson, Hartlepool United chairman, on his club's efforts to finance a new stand.

To Gazza, ice cream is more important than his credit cards. Dino Zoff, manager of Lazio, who ordered Paul Gascoigne to lose weight.

I hate football. Pools winner in syndicate that won more than pounds 2m.

He's going down in history for all the wrong reasons. Clare White, wife of jockey John, first over the line in the Grand National on Esha Nesh.

I died out there. Keith Brown, National starter.

You just can't go out and run those times - certainly not at 20. Joan Allison, British women's team manager, on the spate of world records broken by Chinese women runners.

There's an old saying in Chinese: 'A thief crying, 'Stop thief']'. Ma Junren, the coach behind the records.

Better to lose twice than cheat once. Franziska van Almsick, German swimmer, on drugs in sport.

Most of us have already got one. Derek Redmond on the IAAF plan to give a Mercedes to gold medallists at the World Championships.

In this game you are only one hamstring pull away from oblivion. Steve Smith, Britain's leading high jumper.

I hope to be the fastest fat old git in the race. Eamonn Martin, before his London Marathon victory.

I guess Liz McColgan's mouth is good for marathon running. Lisa Ondieki, McColgan's main rival in the London Marathon.

If Geoffrey had played cricket the way he talked he would have had people queueing up to get into the ground instead of queueing up to leave. Freddie Trueman on Geoff Boycott talking about the tour of India.

Done the elephants, done the poverty, now I'm off home. Phil Tufnell, on tour with England in India.

A great bowler and a complete dickhead. Unnamed England player on Tufnell.

I thought you needed designer stubble to get in the England team these days. Mike Gatting on his new beardless look.

I just want to get in the middle and get the right sort of runs. Robin Smith, stomach bug victim in India.

They are either incompetent, inert or inept, or all three. They have made a mockery of their responsibilities. Dennis Oliver, Gower 'rebel', on the England selectors.

Try telling Montgomery he could not pick the side he wanted. Field Marshall Lord Bramall, who opposed the MCC no-confidence motion in the selectors.

England are so decrepit, so old and doddery like Dad's Army, the Aussies will shove it right up them this summer. Your bowling doesn't even rank as high as ordinary. They couldn't harry a granny. Jeff Thomson, former Australian fast bowler, on England.

I'm having nothing to do with the British media. You're all pricks. Allan Border, Australia's captain, refuses to do a television interview.

I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler. David Feherty, after a poor round in golf's Bell's Cup.

All the good stuff that has appeared about me in the newspapers is true. All the bad stuff is false. Fred Couples, US Masters champion, on his divorce.

I want people to say God, I saw Nick Faldo play golf, not I saw Nick Faldo win dollars 247,000. Nick Faldo at the US Masters.

I don't see any American dream. I see an American nightmare. I am not a role model. It's not my job to raise your kids. Hell, I know drug dealers who can dunk a basketball. Charles Barkley, of the Phoenix Suns.

Liquid Himalayas. Robin Knox-Johnston, Enza co-skipper, on conditions at sea during the Jules Verne Trophy.

I know my talks can be a bit long-winded - but I didn't realise they were boring enough to send even my own brother to sleep. Gavin Hastings, Lions captain, on the effect of his team talk on Scott before the first Test against the All Blacks.

It's better than being called a plonker. Jason Leonard, on being picked as one of the stars of the Lions' second Test victory over the All Blacks.

You've been in trouble at school? I was expelled 18 times in one year. Chris Eubank addresses the children at Trinity School, Moss Side.

Give me two weeks in the gym and I'll knock them all out. Mike Tyson, who is hoping for a successful appeal against his six-year jail sentence, on the current heavyweight champions and contenders.

Bruno became a national hero for losing. Lennox Lewis after beating Frank Bruno.

I don't want Franklyn to take any more punches. He has taken enough already. Lynette Bruno, Frank's mother.

I'm the best heavyweight in the world. I'm not being cocky. Bruno.

A kid with a bit of bastard in him. Ian Barclay, tennis coach, on what is needed for British success.

Nobody should be ranked No 1 who looks like he just swung from a tree. Andre Agassi on Pete Sampras.

I'll put a million quid on the table and if (Alain) Prost will do the same we will race for it. Nigel Mansell.

We Are Still Royalists Because Nigel Is Still King Of The Poms. British banner at Australian IndyCar Grand Prix.

Nigel - Our Real Royal family On Tour. Ditto.

There's only one medal and it lasts for about eight years. It's a fantastic Olympic sport and the most difficult of all. Bob Scott, leader of Manchester's bid for the 2000 Olympics, on the bidding process.

Because of the Games this city is like donkey dung, clean and smooth on the outside. But inside it is still shit. Elderly woman street cleaner on Peking's cosmetic efforts in its bid for the 2000 Olympics.

(Photographs omitted)