The IoS Save Our Scotsmen's survival guide: How to make the best of it, win or lose
Sunday 30 January 2011
You're a Scot living "dahn saff". You work in England. Many of your chums are English. Maybe even your children think they're English, except the nice middle one who occasionally wears her dark blue shirt to ingratiate herself with her old dad. Football's your game, but you take your victories where you can find them. Curling at the Winter Olympics, for example. Elephant polo. George Galloway travelling to the States and sticking it up the Senate. Desperate? Maybe.
Britain, though, is laying claim to the man carrying your people's hopes on his shoulders – while he's successful, of course. Yet you know many of your English colleagues would prefer to see him lose, giving them a stick with which to beat you. These are desperate times.
The IoS – with more than 20 years' experience of this sad condition – offers its survival guide for tomorrow after the sickening inevitability of Andy blowing it.
(And please, Andy, don't do the feeling your injured thigh thing, or blaming anyone else, or that tentative waiting for the other bloke to lose, rather than going for it.)
Or, in the one-in-a-million chance that maybe, just maybe, one of us might actually, after all those years – after the debacle in Argentina, that 6-0 drubbing by the Netherlands, that fightback against Spain only to lose in the last 10 minutes – emerge on top of the world, we proffer our suggestions on how best to crow.
The Independent's live blog of today's Premier League action
World Masters Athletics Championships: Meet the 95-year-olds still picking up medals
Don't mess with me, Diego Costa warns Manchester City ahead of Chelsea clash
Colombian women's cycling team kit that makes wearer appear naked is branded 'unacceptable' by UCI president
West Ham vs Liverpool match report: Reds are caught cold by hot Hammers
Aston Villa vs Arsenal team news: Alexis Sanchez incorrectly named in starting line-up as Alex Oxlade-Chamerlain called up to start
- 1 Scottish referendum: So how about the English now being given a chance to split from England?
- 2 Stamford Hill council removes 'unacceptable' posters telling women which side of the road to walk down
- 3 Kim Kardashian 'nude pictures' leaked on 4chan weeks after Jennifer Lawrence 'The Fappening' scandal
- 4 Matthew Miller: American sentenced to hard labour in North Korea 'wanted to be Snowden II'
- 5 Iranian blogger found guilty of insulting Prophet Mohammad on Facebook sentenced to death
Scottish independence referendum: A nation divided against itself
Scottish referendum results: Cross-party consensus collapses amid Tory-Labour spat on the 'English question'
Scottish independence: David Cameron is becoming the 'George Bush of Britain'
Russia freezes Ukraine into submission: Kiev admits country doesn't have enough fuel for winter
Archbishop of Canterbury admits doubts about existence of God
Portuguese academic says British are 'filthy, violent and drunk'