The IoS Save Our Scotsmen's survival guide: How to make the best of it, win or lose
Sunday 30 January 2011
You're a Scot living "dahn saff". You work in England. Many of your chums are English. Maybe even your children think they're English, except the nice middle one who occasionally wears her dark blue shirt to ingratiate herself with her old dad. Football's your game, but you take your victories where you can find them. Curling at the Winter Olympics, for example. Elephant polo. George Galloway travelling to the States and sticking it up the Senate. Desperate? Maybe.
Britain, though, is laying claim to the man carrying your people's hopes on his shoulders – while he's successful, of course. Yet you know many of your English colleagues would prefer to see him lose, giving them a stick with which to beat you. These are desperate times.
The IoS – with more than 20 years' experience of this sad condition – offers its survival guide for tomorrow after the sickening inevitability of Andy blowing it.
(And please, Andy, don't do the feeling your injured thigh thing, or blaming anyone else, or that tentative waiting for the other bloke to lose, rather than going for it.)
Or, in the one-in-a-million chance that maybe, just maybe, one of us might actually, after all those years – after the debacle in Argentina, that 6-0 drubbing by the Netherlands, that fightback against Spain only to lose in the last 10 minutes – emerge on top of the world, we proffer our suggestions on how best to crow.
Crystal Palace manager latest: Malky Mackay ruled out due to messy departure from previous club Cardiff
Sami Khedira to Arsenal: Midfield omitted from Real Madrid squad for Spanish Super Cup
David Gold furious after Carlton Cole parody account mocks up a picture of West Ham chairman as a suspect in the Madeleine McCann case
Manchester United's worst signings
Angel Di Maria latest: Manchester United target is Real Madrid's 'best player', says Diego Simeone
- 2 ALS ice bucket challenge co-founder Corey Griffin drowns, aged 27
- 3 World peace? These are the only 11 countries in the world that are actually free from conflict
- 4 Nicki Minaj finally releases predictable 'Anaconda' video
- 5 James Foley 'beheading': Met police warn public watching murder video could be criminal offence
Scottish independence: English people overwhelmingly want Scotland to stay in the UK
Isis threat: Cameron wants an alliance with Iran
Crisis? What crisis? A visiting US doctor gives the NHS a rave review
Richard Dawkins on babies with Down Syndrome: 'Abort it and try again – it would be immoral to bring it into the world'
Michael Brown shooting: Chaos erupts on the streets of Ferguson after autopsy shows teenager was shot six times – twice in the head
Scottish Independence Referendum: Salmond described as 'arrogant, ambitious and dishonest' by Scottish women