Part of the masochistic fun of the Wimbledon fortnight used to be mulling over the lost cause of a British male winner. But the rise of Andy Murray in the last eight years rendered that once daft question sensible. And now, it’s moot. Murray’s win even led yesterday’s New York Times to ask: “Whatever will the British talk about next year at Wimbledon?”
It’s a good question, so we have put our minds to the test to suggest appropriate talking points:
* Can Andy Murray win back-to-back titles for the first time in 78 years?
* When will a British woman finally win Wimbledon again? (Incorporating, “Come on Laura!/ Heather”!)
* The weather. A talking point valid until 2019 when Court One joins the roof club.
* John Inverdale’s looks. Specifically, whether his mum pushed him into radio because he was “never going to be a looker”.
* Condescending pity for America, which hasn’t had a male major singles champion since Andy Roddick in 2003 and whose top player, John Isner is ranked only 19th in the world. (Like many of Monday’s papers, we’ll conveniently ignore the women’s game.)
* Condescendingly asking Australian and French fans if the likes of Bernard Tomic and Gilles Simon can do it this year? (We’ll come to regret this.)
* Where Boris Becker is still getting those white-collar shirts from?
* Where Judy Murray will be sat if Andy makes the final.
(And what we won’t be talking about next year, hopefully):
* Why Andy Murray hasn’t proposed to Ki... Zzzz.