Steward: "Your wife just called, you were meant to handcuff yourself to the bedposts, not the goalposts, you prat!"
Congratulations to Patisson for the winning caption, above.
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Just for your information, here's the real caption: A man handcuffs himself to the goal posts during the Barclays Premier League match between Everton and Manchester City at Goodison Park on January 31, 2012 in Liverpool, England. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)