London Pet Show, 17th – 18th May (£17)
The ultimate event for animal aficionados, the fourth annual London Pet Show will boast the usual cats, dogs and rodents as well as some more sporadic species of chameleons, parrots and birds of prey. Expect brilliantly bizarre attractions such as micro-pig racing, doggy-dancing and duck-herding. The only downside is there is no student ticket price – did they really think we wouldn’t be interested? www.londonpetshow.co.uk
European Parliament Elections, 22nd May
With just 29 per cent of under-25s voting in the last European election in 2009 and young Britons being the most apathetic among all the young European voters, voting (almost) qualifies as “alternative”. You will have received a voting card in the post; use it. If you’re a bit confused by all the politics and need a quick answer, visit www.shouldivoteukip.co.uk
London Sub-Audio Festival, 24th – 25 May (£23 for one day)
Clapham Common is to host its very own festival of silent disco, celebrating the oxymoronic power of musical muteness. Pick from a palette of genres including funk, rock, house and electro swing and expect tasty food stalls and astonishing aesthetics. Capacity is limited to an intimate 1,000 people, so visit www.subaudiofestival.com for your ticket to silent summer swing!
Soho Flea Market, 25th May (free)
Ideal for Bank Holiday weekend, this pop-up annual market features designers and artists as well as a music/entertainment stage, including the local legend The Soho Hobo. Look out for the delicious street food which will also be making an appearance. Perfect for the artsy among us, this event features the best of alternative, up-and-coming talent. Visit www.londonpopups.com/2014/05/soho-flea-market-2014.html
Stoke Newington Literary Festival, 6th – 8th June (£various)
Now in its fifth year, this humble but mighty festival has been described by the Londonist as “a literary festival that’s thrown its pretensions into a skip”. This year’s line-up includes the Kinks frontman Ray Davies and dub-reggae performance poet Linton Kwesi Johnson. You could also pay a visit to one of Stoke Newington’s many independent coffee shops. Enjoy trying to work out how to get back without using the tube…
World Naked Bike Ride, 14th June (free)
Possibly the most daring form of critical mass, the London strand of this international event kicks off – or should we say, strips off – at various points around London before merging to finish en masse at Wellington Park. Now taking place in more than 74 cities across 17 countries, the main aims of the ride are to promote cycling, advocate the power of the human body and protest against oil dependency. It often spawns some, um, creative body art, and past slogans have included “my energy’s renude” and “burn fat not oil”. Come rain or shine, the London Naked Bike Ride is expected to attract over 1,000 participants. Visit www.worldnakedbikeride.org/uk/ for more information and go “as bare as you dare”…
The Crap Film Club, 17th June (£3.50 / £4.50)
If you’re feeling down for some low-quality entertainment, there’s nothing better than the Crap Film Club. Films are selected for dire acting skills, poor script and absurd plots – past selections include Birdemic, Frankenhooker and Sharknado. The crapper, the better: these straight-to-DVD numbers are hilariously awful. Crap Film Club’s next event is 17 June at 7pm, and entry is £4.50 on the door, or £3.50 advance. Much cheaper than a standard night at the movies in London (and so it should be). For more information or to book a table, visit their Facebook page at www.facebook.com/crapfilmclub
Sadie is currently interning with Stoke Newington Literary Festival.