Tis the season to be lazy: 10 things you say you're going do this Christmas but never will

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, especially at Christmas

Elbow-deep in long words and library books, with caffeine intake soaring and hours asleep rapidly decreasing, soon that final essay will be handed in and you will be home for the Christmas holidays. It’s been a good first term at university, but now you’re poor and undernourished, and you can’t stop thinking about all the things you could do when you’re deadline-free and no longer have to contemplate whose turn it is next to buy the toilet paper.

Between keyboard bashing, chain smoking and kettle boiling, plans are underway to ensure that this Christmas is packed with all the nostalgic Christmassy wonderland goodness you’ve ever dreamed of.

You’ll spend every evening at the local pub with a different childhood chum, and your days will pass by in the kitchen making mince pies and homemade blueberry vodka to dole out as presents on the big day. You’ll get ahead of the game and apply for thousands of summer internships before anyone else has even considered it. You’ll make sure this New Year’s is the best it’s ever been. And you’ll do all this without spending a penny.

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Or so you imagine. There are some things that university can’t change, and when 2014 dawns upon us, you’ll probably still be penniless, you’ll still be hungover and you won’t have started revision yet. Christmas is the best excuse to not get anything done. At this time of year especially, plans are made to be broken.