There’s a certain novelty as of late to being Irish. Somewhere between the release of PS I love You and Danny from the Script somehow getting a job on The Voice, people across the water are suddenly finding themselves more exposed to us few Irish who choose willingly to study in England. Here are some struggles we face on a daily basis.
Being seen as a glorified leprechaun
This is a struggle that most of us Irish brave enough to leave the Emerald Isle will face at some stage in our travels. For some reason a lot of English students can’t seem to tell the difference between regular Irish people and mythical creatures with an alleged fondness for leaving gold underneath rainbows. If I had a pot of gold I wouldn’t be £950 into a £1,000 overdraft.
Having to live up to expectations set by Gerard Butler in P.S. I Love You
He’s not even Irish. For some reason a lot of girls have gotten it into their minds that the prerequisite for true love is to find a charming Irishman who plays guitar and will leave you love letters to read, after we inevitably die in the first five minutes of the film.
Oh my god, you’re Irish
How shocking it is to people here that we Irish managed to get on our £60 flight from Belfast International. The English see themselves as stoic, but if my fresher’s week is anything to go by then this sadly isn’t the case. I spent two weeks having to explain my Irishness every time I opened my mouth to a stranger. It’s a minor complaint but there comes a limit when the only things that get said to you are Keith Lemon impressions and "oh my God, you’re Irish".
£9,000 in student loans
Believe it or not student loans are cheaper in Ireland. Costing close to £4,000 a year rather than the extortionate £9,000 over here, perhaps our government think we’ve struggled enough over the years so they only try and charge us a lot rather than a hell of a lot. However they’ve made up for their generosity by giving us what feels like a lower standard of education, unless you’re getting into Queens or Trinity, the extra £3,000 is probably worth emigrating and becoming an Irish stereotype. At least it’s not a famine this time.
The expectation to drink lethal doses of alcohol
It’s a bit sad that the nation that gave us James Joyce and Colin Farrell has been pigeonholed into a land of alcoholics drinking our way back to the Stone Age. While it’s no lie that we do enjoy our drink, it isn’t personal when I don’t order Guinness in the pub. Some days I just want an orange juice.
Wishing for more rain
You know your country's weather is bad when you leave and start to feel homesick in the shower. If you think English weather is bad you should come to Ireland. Although it has the image of a country of rolling green hills around which we all gallivant, the truth is for 363 days a year it’s either raining or so overcast Irish children stop being able to relate to the sun on the Teletubbies.
Disappointing strangers because you’re from up north
People have two different views of Ireland; the nice lush green Ireland, which has leprechauns and people with melodic accents and no cares in the world… and then you have the north. Northern Ireland is a strange place, Catholics and Protestants are starting to get along but it’s still a nation of two tribes unsure of why they’re actually fighting - still knowing they hate the other, instead of hating themselves like everyone else.
I feel a bit bad for coming to England for uni because I know I’m giving my future bloodline the ability to tell others about how they’re actually Irish because their great, great, great grandfather was from Kerry, despite the fact they’ve actually lived in Leicester their entire lives.
People mistaking genuine contempt for Irish charm
It’s hard to say "bubbles" angrily. In the same way, some people can’t pick up on anger when it comes from an Irish person. No I’m not being funny, I’m angry because I didn’t know you had to pay for water in England and I’ve spent my whole loan in the first five weeks again.
Being blamed for Bono’s mistakes
I didn’t put the album on your iPod; don’t ask me how to remove it. I have a Nokia 3210.Reuse content