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And there are more than 30 miles of cable - plus a few neighbours who aren't on speaking terms

Bill Shorten and his wife, Chloe, after the election

Son of Tyneside union official becomes leader of Australia’s opposition

Five weeks after the Australian Labor Party suffered a humiliating defeat in the federal elections, the son of a former British waterside worker was elected its new leader last night.

Australian PM Tony Abbott has come under fire for only having one woman in his Cabinet

Australian PM Tony Abbott criticised for one-woman Cabinet

If Julia Gillard paved the way for future female leaders in Australia, there is no sign of that legacy in new Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s Cabinet, which contains just one woman: Julie Bishop, the Foreign Minister-elect.

Andrew Demetriou laughed on air when told of the incident

Aussie Rules: Season of scandal ends with player setting a dwarf on fire

League apologises after chief executive burst out laughing at cruel year-end prank

Shocking X-ray: Doctors remove fork from penis of 70-year-old Australian man

The case is considered so unusual it has been written-up by three doctors in the International Journal of Surgery Case Report

Amantle Montsho of Botswana

World Championships 2013: Christine Ohuruogu finally breaks 400m record she targeted for a decade

The Briton won an extraordinary race by 0.004 seconds

Injury concerns for Lions

The British and Irish Lions have been hit by a potential double injury blow ahead of next Saturday's second Test against Australia in Melbourne.

It was fascinating to watch both sets of half-backs adjust, with Will Genia dominant

The expert view: Referee was wrong, but it made Lions opening Test a real thriller

What a win for the Lions. It was massive, but it was a game of incredibly fine margins. So much of the talk leading into yesterday's First Test surrounded the battle on the ground. The breakdown was indeed a huge part of the game, but not quite for the reasons we predicted. Referee Chris Pollock very quickly showed that he was not interested in the slow ball-producing jackal technique and, while many – including me – questioned his early penalising of Brian O'Driscoll after what appeared a textbook attempted steal, it set a definite and undisguised tone. Quick ball was the order of the day, and what followed was a scorcher of a spectacle. When the squad was announced, the only selection about which I wondered was Dan Lydiate on the replacements' bench. Not because he is not a wonderful player – he is – but because he is not a natural openside. Should Sam Warburton get hurt, who would compete at dirt level? Well, perhaps Warren Gatland did his homework and knew that the referee was not necessarily an advocate of the Neil Back school of rugby. Which is not to say that neither openside was effective over the course of the game but, as so often happens, one man's interpretation of one of the game's many crucial areas shaped the whole event, and it was fascinating to watch both sets of half-backs adjust, with Will Genia dominant. The scrummage, too, did not pan out as we hoped. In the first half the Lions dominated on occasion, but the Wallabies held out, used the odd early engagement to their advantage and, as the minutes ticked by and replacements appeared, closed the gap right up, almost squeezing Dan Cole and Mako Vunipola out of the game. How clever. How Australian.

New Zealander Chris Pollock will be the man in the middle for Saturday’s Test

British and Irish Lions 2013: Tourists demand better refereeing

Tourists unhappy with communication between officials and fear tackle area problems in Test

British and Irish Lions 2013: We 'got what we deserved' against Brumbies admits Warren Gatland

The Lions suffered their first defeat of the 2013 tour

The Lions' Jamie Roberts looked in pain as he received treatment for an injury that could rule him out of the next match (David Davies/PA)

British and Irish Lions 2013: Jamie Roberts 'a grave doubt' for first Test against Australia

The Wales international strained his hamstring against New South Wales Waratahs

Sam Warburton speaks to referee Jaco Peyper during the Lions 47-17 victory over the New South Wales Waratahs

Sam Warburton pleased after perfect preparation with victory ahead of Test series

The Lions captain feels the 47-17 win over the NSW Waratahs is the perfect build-up with just a week to go till the first Test

Andy McSmith's Diary: United they stand... not to mention stepping on toes

The original purpose for which the trade unions created the Labour Party was to get working-class representatives into Parliament. The old engineering union, the AUEW, which has now been absorbed in Unite, had a particularly strong record for taking members off the factory floor, training them up and getting them into Parliament.

Wartime: Margaret Thatcher meets the Royal Navy

UK ready to sell aircraft to junta just days before Falklands attack

'Another few would make no real difference' – claims newly released Foreign Office documents

Scientists have discovered that size really does matter
to women when it comes to the length of a man’s manhood

Size really does matter: Homo sapiens' 'larger than necessary' penis may have evolved through natural selection by prehistoric women

In a scientific tour-de-force worthy of the search for the elusively small Higgs boson, scientists have discovered that size really does matter to women when it comes to the length of a man’s manhood.

Ben Zygier, the suspected Mossad spy previously known only as Prisoner X

Australia to investigate mysterious case of 'Prisoner X' Ben Zygier

Australia will conduct its own investigation into the arrest, detention and death of Mossad agent Ben Zygier who died in an Israeli prison two years ago – and will ask Israeli officials to provide evidence.

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In 2006, Pluto was reclassified as a 'dwarf planet'
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Jennifer Lawrence at the Vanity Fair Academy Awards party in February 2014
people12 undisclosed female victims are seeking $100m in damages
Arts and Entertainment
Adam Levine plays a butcher who obsessively stalks a woman in Maroon 5's 'Animals' music video
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voicesI like surprises - that's why I'm bringing them back to politics, writes Nigel Farage
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Anthony Horowitz will write the next 007 novel
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Kirstie Allsopp has waded into the female fertility debate again

Sport
Kicking on: Nathaniel Clyne is relishing the challenge of the Premier League after moving from Crystal Palace
footballSurprises include a first ever call-up for one Southampton star
Voices
4 May 2013: The sun rises over Tower Bridge in London. Temperatures across the UK could be higher than several European holiday destinations by Monday, including parts of Italy and France (Andy Hepburn/PA)
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Independent Travel
Apulia
Lake Annecy
Bruges
Walking in Cyprus
Lanzarote
Victoria Falls
Prices correct as of 26 September 2014
Italian couples fake UK divorce scam on an ‘industrial scale’

Welcome to Maidenhead, the divorce capital of... Italy

A look at the the legal tourists who exploited our liberal dissolution rules
Tom and Jerry cartoons now carry a 'racial prejudice' warning on Amazon

Tom and Jerry cartoons now carry a 'racial prejudice' warning on Amazon

The vintage series has often been criticised for racial stereotyping
An app for the amorous: Could Good2Go end disputes about sexual consent - without being a passion-killer?

An app for the amorous

Could Good2Go end disputes about sexual consent - without being a passion-killer?
Llansanffraid is now Llansantffraid. Welsh town changes its name, but can you spot the difference?

Llansanffraid is now Llansantffraid

Welsh town changes its name, but can you spot the difference?
Charlotte Riley: At the peak of her powers

Charlotte Riley: At the peak of her powers

After a few early missteps with Chekhov, her acting career has taken her to Hollywood. Next up is a role in the BBC’s gangster drama ‘Peaky Blinders’
She's having a laugh: Britain's female comedians have never had it so good

She's having a laugh

Britain's female comedians have never had it so good, says stand-up Natalie Haynes
Sistine Chapel to ‘sing’ with new LED lights designed to bring Michelangelo’s masterpiece out of the shadows

Let there be light

Sistine Chapel to ‘sing’ with new LEDs designed to bring Michelangelo’s masterpiece out of the shadows
Great British Bake Off, semi-final, review: Richard remains the baker to beat

Tensions rise in Bake Off's pastry week

Richard remains the baker to beat as Chetna begins to flake
Paris Fashion Week, spring/summer 2015: Time travel fashion at Louis Vuitton in Paris

A look to the future

It's time travel fashion at Louis Vuitton in Paris
The 10 best bedspreads

The 10 best bedspreads

Before you up the tog count on your duvet, add an extra layer and a room-changing piece to your bed this autumn
Arsenal vs Galatasaray: Five things we learnt from the Emirates

Arsenal vs Galatasaray

Five things we learnt from the Gunners' Champions League victory at the Emirates
Stuart Lancaster’s long-term deal makes sense – a rarity for a decision taken by the RFU

Lancaster’s long-term deal makes sense – a rarity for a decision taken by the RFU

This deal gives England a head-start to prepare for 2019 World Cup, says Chris Hewett
Ebola outbreak: The children orphaned by the virus – then rejected by surviving relatives over fear of infection

The children orphaned by Ebola...

... then rejected by surviving relatives over fear of infection
Pride: Are censors pandering to homophobia?

Are censors pandering to homophobia?

US film censors have ruled 'Pride' unfit for under-16s, though it contains no sex or violence
The magic of roundabouts

Lords of the rings

Just who are the Roundabout Appreciation Society?