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And there are more than 30 miles of cable - plus a few neighbours who aren't on speaking terms

Bill Shorten and his wife, Chloe, after the election

Son of Tyneside union official becomes leader of Australia’s opposition

Five weeks after the Australian Labor Party suffered a humiliating defeat in the federal elections, the son of a former British waterside worker was elected its new leader last night.

Australian PM Tony Abbott has come under fire for only having one woman in his Cabinet

Australian PM Tony Abbott criticised for one-woman Cabinet

If Julia Gillard paved the way for future female leaders in Australia, there is no sign of that legacy in new Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s Cabinet, which contains just one woman: Julie Bishop, the Foreign Minister-elect.

Andrew Demetriou laughed on air when told of the incident

Aussie Rules: Season of scandal ends with player setting a dwarf on fire

League apologises after chief executive burst out laughing at cruel year-end prank

Shocking X-ray: Doctors remove fork from penis of 70-year-old Australian man

The case is considered so unusual it has been written-up by three doctors in the International Journal of Surgery Case Report

Amantle Montsho of Botswana

World Championships 2013: Christine Ohuruogu finally breaks 400m record she targeted for a decade

The Briton won an extraordinary race by 0.004 seconds

Injury concerns for Lions

The British and Irish Lions have been hit by a potential double injury blow ahead of next Saturday's second Test against Australia in Melbourne.

It was fascinating to watch both sets of half-backs adjust, with Will Genia dominant

The expert view: Referee was wrong, but it made Lions opening Test a real thriller

What a win for the Lions. It was massive, but it was a game of incredibly fine margins. So much of the talk leading into yesterday's First Test surrounded the battle on the ground. The breakdown was indeed a huge part of the game, but not quite for the reasons we predicted. Referee Chris Pollock very quickly showed that he was not interested in the slow ball-producing jackal technique and, while many – including me – questioned his early penalising of Brian O'Driscoll after what appeared a textbook attempted steal, it set a definite and undisguised tone. Quick ball was the order of the day, and what followed was a scorcher of a spectacle. When the squad was announced, the only selection about which I wondered was Dan Lydiate on the replacements' bench. Not because he is not a wonderful player – he is – but because he is not a natural openside. Should Sam Warburton get hurt, who would compete at dirt level? Well, perhaps Warren Gatland did his homework and knew that the referee was not necessarily an advocate of the Neil Back school of rugby. Which is not to say that neither openside was effective over the course of the game but, as so often happens, one man's interpretation of one of the game's many crucial areas shaped the whole event, and it was fascinating to watch both sets of half-backs adjust, with Will Genia dominant. The scrummage, too, did not pan out as we hoped. In the first half the Lions dominated on occasion, but the Wallabies held out, used the odd early engagement to their advantage and, as the minutes ticked by and replacements appeared, closed the gap right up, almost squeezing Dan Cole and Mako Vunipola out of the game. How clever. How Australian.

New Zealander Chris Pollock will be the man in the middle for Saturday’s Test

British and Irish Lions 2013: Tourists demand better refereeing

Tourists unhappy with communication between officials and fear tackle area problems in Test

British and Irish Lions 2013: We 'got what we deserved' against Brumbies admits Warren Gatland

The Lions suffered their first defeat of the 2013 tour

The Lions' Jamie Roberts looked in pain as he received treatment for an injury that could rule him out of the next match (David Davies/PA)

British and Irish Lions 2013: Jamie Roberts 'a grave doubt' for first Test against Australia

The Wales international strained his hamstring against New South Wales Waratahs

Sam Warburton speaks to referee Jaco Peyper during the Lions 47-17 victory over the New South Wales Waratahs

Sam Warburton pleased after perfect preparation with victory ahead of Test series

The Lions captain feels the 47-17 win over the NSW Waratahs is the perfect build-up with just a week to go till the first Test

Andy McSmith's Diary: United they stand... not to mention stepping on toes

The original purpose for which the trade unions created the Labour Party was to get working-class representatives into Parliament. The old engineering union, the AUEW, which has now been absorbed in Unite, had a particularly strong record for taking members off the factory floor, training them up and getting them into Parliament.

Wartime: Margaret Thatcher meets the Royal Navy

UK ready to sell aircraft to junta just days before Falklands attack

'Another few would make no real difference' – claims newly released Foreign Office documents

Scientists have discovered that size really does matter
to women when it comes to the length of a man’s manhood

Size really does matter: Homo sapiens' 'larger than necessary' penis may have evolved through natural selection by prehistoric women

In a scientific tour-de-force worthy of the search for the elusively small Higgs boson, scientists have discovered that size really does matter to women when it comes to the length of a man’s manhood.

Ben Zygier, the suspected Mossad spy previously known only as Prisoner X

Australia to investigate mysterious case of 'Prisoner X' Ben Zygier

Australia will conduct its own investigation into the arrest, detention and death of Mossad agent Ben Zygier who died in an Israeli prison two years ago – and will ask Israeli officials to provide evidence.

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Mullah Omar, creator of the Taliban, is dead... for the fourth time

Mullah Omar, creator of the Taliban, is dead... again

I was once told that intelligence services declare their enemies dead to provoke them into popping up their heads and revealing their location, says Robert Fisk
Margaret Attwood on climate change: 'Time is running out for our fragile, Goldilocks planet'

Margaret Attwood on climate change

The author looks back on what she wrote about oil in 2009, and reflects on how the conversation has changed in a mere six years
New Dr Seuss manuscript discovered: What Pet Should I Get? goes on sale this week

New Dr Seuss manuscript discovered

What Pet Should I Get? goes on sale this week
Oculus Rift and the lonely cartoon hedgehog who could become the first ever virtual reality movie star

The cartoon hedgehog leading the way into a whole new reality

Virtual reality is the 'next chapter' of entertainment. Tim Walker gives it a try
Ants have unique ability to switch between individual and collective action, says study

Secrets of ants' teamwork revealed

The insects have an almost unique ability to switch between individual and collective action
Donovan interview: The singer is releasing a greatest hits album to mark his 50th year in folk

Donovan marks his 50th year in folk

The singer tells Nick Duerden about receiving death threats, why the world is 'mentally ill', and how he can write a song about anything, from ecology to crumpets
Let's Race simulator: Ultra-realistic technology recreates thrill of the Formula One circuit

Simulator recreates thrill of F1 circuit

Rory Buckeridge gets behind the wheel and explains how it works
Twitter accused of 'Facebookisation' over plans to overhaul reverse-chronological timeline

Twitter accused of 'Facebookisation'

Facebook exasperates its users by deciding which posts they can and can’t see. So why has Twitter announced plans to do the same?
Jane Birkin asks Hermès to rename bag - but what else could the fashion house call it?

Jane Birkin asks Hermès to rename bag

The star was shocked by a Peta investigation into the exotic skins trade
10 best waterproof mascaras

Whatever the weather: 10 best waterproof mascaras

We found lash-enhancing beauties that won’t budge no matter what you throw at them
Diego Costa biography: Chelsea striker's route to the top - from those who shared his journey

Diego Costa: I go to war. You come with me...

Chelsea's rampaging striker had to fight his way from a poor city in Brazil to life at the top of the Premier League. A new book speaks to those who shared his journey
Ashes 2015: England show the mettle to strike back hard in third Test

England show the mettle to strike back hard in third Test

The biggest problem facing them in Birmingham was the recovery of the zeitgeist that drained so quickly under the weight of Australian runs at Lord's, says Kevin Garside
Women's Open 2015: Charley Hull - 'I know I'm a good golfer but I'm also just a person'

Charley Hull: 'I know I'm a good golfer but I'm also just a person'

British teen keeps her feet on ground ahead of Women's Open
Turkey's conflict with Kurdish guerrillas in Iraq can benefit Isis in Syria

Turkey's conflict with Kurdish guerrillas in Iraq can benefit Isis in Syria

Turkish President Erdogan could benefit politically from the targeting of the PKK, says Patrick Cockburn
Yvette Cooper: Our choice is years of Tory rule under Jeremy Corbyn or a return to a Labour government

Our choice is years of Tory rule under Corbyn or a return to a Labour government

Yvette Cooper urged Labour members to 'get serious' about the next general election rather than become 'a protest movement'