The scene opens with a man and woman, smart of suit and high of heel, sashaying through the marbled lobby of the Savoy. Giddy with fun on this special night, our golden couple trips past the winter garden gazebo, swerving around blocky Americans and gossamer-haired dowagers, to reach their destination, the famous riverside restaurant.

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Julian Assange on the balcony of the Ecuadorian embassy

Don’t forget about my rights, says Julian Assange ‘sex victim’

Lawyer tells of woman’s suffering a year on from WikiLeaks founder’s flight to embassy

Keir Starmer QC, the Director of Public Prosecutions

Disarray as DPP contradicts new guidance on naming of suspects

Keir Starmer defies Home Secretary with insistence that ‘blanket rule’ on arrest is wrong

Plenty of Fish’s free-to-use membership has made it the most popular internet dating website in the UK

Plenty of Fish dating site founder pulls 'Intimate Encounters' option to ward off sleazy men

Markus Frind says only 6,041 of 3.3m daily users were women looking for no-strings sex

The Royal Mail faces 'fundamental threat' from email, says Business Secretary

Royal Mail reveals profits boost - but Vince Cable says 'no alternative' to privatisation

Business Secretary believes organisation faces 'fundamental threat' from email and must be reformed

The Goldman Sachs' building in Fleet Street, London

Defeat for UK Uncut as High Court rules Goldman Sachs 'sweetheart' tax deal is flawed but lawful

But judge tells UK Uncut that deal was 'not a glorious episode in the history of the Revenue'

The Oxford University boat crew (L) competes against the Cambridge University crew during the annual boat race

Radio 4 presenter Laurie Taylor offended listeners with 'cox sackers' gag, Trust rules

The Radio 4 presenter Laurie Taylor seriously offended listeners when he used the words "cox sackers" during a discussion about a rowing team, the BBC Trust has ruled.

Beyoncé blames 'dehydration and exhaustion' as she cancels Belgium concert amid pregnancy rumours

Beyoncé is canceling her concert in Belgium because of dehydration and exhaustion.

Red-handed? Russia ‘catches CIA spy on Moscow recruitment mission’

Shaun Walker on the scarcely believable tale of the wig-wearing diplomat expelled from Moscow

Is online dating the solution to lonely hearts?

No matter what our age, background or relationship status, we’re all connected by one common theme – our quest to find love.

Tim Key: 'We'd acquired the reindeer head from a Finnish military man called Snoopy'

I'm sat in my flat waiting for the paint to dry on the wooden hippopotamus's head I recovered from beside the road yesterday while we were driving back from a Salisbury-based taxidermist who had agreed to clean the maggots off the reindeer's head we imported from Lapland six weeks ago.

Necessary rib: We need feminism on campus

With York University Student Union refusing to ratify a feminist society on campus, student campaigner Helena Horton remains convinced that they need one more than ever

Classical review: Verdi’s Ballo, King’s Head Theatre, London

The news that OperaUpClose were planning to stage Verdi’s A Masked Ball in an IKEA store did not sound promising, as we’d been there before. In 2009 Flatpack Opera made Wembley IKEA the venue and subject of a work whose audience was joined by bemused shoppers, not all of whom were keen to be plunged into an art event which began in the bedsit department and ended in kitchens. At least OperaUpClose were doing it in a kosher theatre.

David Walliams and Lara Stone have had their first child, a baby boy.

David Walliams and Lara Stone celebrate birth of boy as their first child

Britain's Got Talent judge David Walliams and his wife Lara Stone have announced the birth of their first child.

Neil and Christine Hamilton are being lined up to head Ukip’s list of candidates for the June 2014 European elections

Neil Hamilton lined up as Ukip MEP

The controversial former Tory MP Neil Hamilton is being lined up to head Ukip’s list of candidates for the June 2014 European elections, party sources have claimed

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Johnny Marr talks relationships and reunions

He's worked with Modest Mouse, the Pet Shop Boys and Beck, to name a few, and recently released his first solo album. So why, wonders Johnny Marr, do people still hark on about The Smiths?
After the flood: From Haiti to Britain, one man has captured the devastation of our increasingly deluged lands

In pictures: After the flood

From Haiti to Britain, one man has captured the devastation of our increasingly deluged lands
Death becomes her: Meet the very modern mortician who champions 'cool' funerals

Death becomes her: A very modern mortician

Ever considered baking a loved one's remains into a cake or putting their ashes in fireworks? If so, talk to Caitlin Doughty, champion of the alternative death industry.
How long can the 'Keep Calm' trend carry on?

How long can the 'Keep Calm' trend carry on?

At first it seemed clever and cute. Then the 'Keep Calm' motif went mad, spawning endless offshoots.
The man who built Brum: A lament for the demise of John Madin's Brutalist Birmingham

John Madin: The man who built Brum

The architect's buildings were supposed to leave an indelible, futuristic mark on his beloved hometown but they are now being inexorably torn down.
School of chop: Learning the art of butchery at the Ginger Pig

School of chop: Learning the art of butchery

How do you butcher a lamb? Or make Mexican street food in a British kitchen? Christopher Hirst finds out.
James Pembroke: The man who's eaten everywhere

The man who's eaten everywhere

Few people know more about restaurants than James Pembroke, who only spent five mealtimes at home during his entire childhood.
A Berliner in 1963 – but did John F Kennedy once admire Adolf Hitler?

A Berliner in 1963 – but did John F Kennedy once admire Adolf Hitler?

The young JFK praised 'superior' Nordic races during visits to Germany
Banned Iranian director Mohammad Rasoulof to attend Cannes Film Festival 2013, his first public appearance since prison

Banned Iranian director to attend Cannes Film Festival

Mohammad Rasoulof to make his first public appearance since being imprisoned three years ago
Seeing the larger picture: Inspiring images of space

Seeing the larger picture: Inspiring images of space

An exhibition explores images how photography has shaped astronomy
Eat Spam and carry on: Wartime pamphlets could teach us a thing or two about healthy, thrifty eating

Eat Spam and carry on

Wartime pamphlets could teach us a thing or two about healthy, thrifty eating
Facial hair: Cat beards and the purrrsuit of excellence

Facial hair

Cat beards and the purrrsuit of excellence
The 10 Best salt and pepper sets

The 10 Best salt and pepper sets

Whether they're for everyday use or to make your dining table look just right, it's worth getting a stylish shaker...
Ferran Soriano: Predicting success if Manchester City 'vision' is followed

Ferran Soriano: Predicting success if Manchester City 'vision' is followed

Chief executive says trophies will come if a 'core' of suitable players is in place
Thomas Müller: We couldn't handle losing a Champions League Final again

Thomas Müller: We couldn't handle losing a Champions League Final again

The Bayern Munich forward tells Tim Rich his side have to shed chokers' tag after two recent final defeats