Nigel Harman who plays Simon Cowell and Simon Cowell at a photo-call for the X Factor musical I Can't Sing

X Factor musical I Can't Sing has a go at Simon Cowell

X Factor boss Simon Cowell said he knows he will "get it in the neck" in the new musical based on the hit singing show.

Live act: Coldplay

Poll: Was 2013 the most boring Brit Awards ever?

The Brit Awards used to be exciting. For one of the pop-iest events in the music calendar, they were even a bit rock 'n' roll. No one young enough to fit the Brit's target audience will remember this, of course - there's a reason why they hold the ceremony during half term - and that's the saddest thing of all. They don't even know what they're missing.

This week's wackiest web stories: Beer that's cheaper than water

Plus: Totally bus-ted, star-gazing bugs, Taiwan's new Barbie restaurant and if you Wannabe evicted (you better get with my friends)

From left: Lucy Phelps, Hannah John-Kamen, Dominique Provost- Chalkley and Siobhan Athwal

First night review: The Spice Girls' Viva Forever!, Piccadilly Theatre

Forget girl power, what you really, really want from this show is more silly moments

David Beckham joined LA Galaxy in 2007

Four directions home for Becks

When David Beckham announced that he's to leave the reigning MLS champions LA Galaxy for new climes, speculation was soon rife about the next stop in the Beckham roadshow. We thought we'd help Beckham with his decision with a compass point-friendly guide to potential new clubs. David, you're welcome:

Love: So Russell Brand, what DO you and the publicity-shy Geri Halliwell have in common?

Move on, definitely nothing to see here. If we all ignore them, they might just go away.

Bronze in mire over accounts

Black cabs fell into black holes today as Manganese Bronze — maker of the iconic London taxi — said it found accounting errors going back more than two years.

Cab maker Manganese in the mire

Black cabs fell into black holes yesterday as Manganese Bronze – maker of the well-known London taxi – said it had found accounting errors going back more than two years.

Melanie Brown, Melanie Chisolm, Geri Halliwell, Emma Bunton and Victoria Beckham at St Pancras yesterday

Spice Girls to perform at Olympics closing ceremony

The inventors of Girl Power are due to perform together for the first time in four years at the London 2012 Olympic closing ceremony.

Grace Dent: Don't be fooled by the 90s revival sdfghsdfgh

Alarm bells about the 90s revival went off for me when I was told last week that the Spice Girls actually made some important headway for feminism. Excuse me while I laugh up a lung. (Don't worry it's better off out anyway after all the damage I did it in the 90s smoking Marlboro Reds as it was cool.)

Geri Halliwell designs her own clothes

Geri Halliwell has always designed her own clothes.

Thompson gives the girls at her old school an English lesson

She has ingratiated herself with the nation's youth through her role as the somewhat unhinged Professor Sybil Trelawney in the Harry Potter films, but now actress Emma Thompson has had something of a swipe at the Muggle population of her own alma mater.

X Factor judging role for Spice Girl Geri Halliwell

Geri Halliwell is expected to add some extra spice to The X Factor by stepping in as a guest judge.

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Russell Brand was in typically combative form during his promotional interview with Newsnight's Evan Davis
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The clocks go forward an hour at 1am on Sunday 30 March
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Voluminous silk drawers were worn by Queen Victoria
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Candidates with surnames that start with an A have an electoral advantage
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Isis with Lord Grantham (Hugh Bonneville)
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Arts and Entertainment
Jay James
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Prices correct as of 17 October 2014
Wilko Johnson, now the bad news: musician splits with manager after police investigate assault claims

Wilko Johnson, now the bad news

Former Dr Feelgood splits with manager after police investigate assault claims
Mark Udall: The Democrat Senator with a fight on his hands ahead of the US midterm elections

Mark Udall: The Democrat Senator with a fight on his hands

The Senator for Colorado is for gay rights, for abortion rights – and in the Republicans’ sights as they threaten to take control of the Senate next month
New discoveries show more contact between far-flung prehistoric humans than had been thought

New discoveries show more contact between far-flung prehistoric humans than had been thought

Evidence found of contact between Easter Islanders and South America
Cerys Matthews reveals how her uncle taped 150 interviews for a biography of Dylan Thomas

Cerys Matthews on Dylan Thomas

The singer reveals how her uncle taped 150 interviews for a biography of the famous Welsh poet
DIY is not fun and we've finally realised this as a nation

Homebase closures: 'DIY is not fun'

Homebase has announced the closure of one in four of its stores. Nick Harding, who never did know his awl from his elbow, is glad to see the back of DIY
The Battle of the Five Armies: Air New Zealand releases new Hobbit-inspired in-flight video

Air New Zealand's wizard in-flight video

The airline has released a new Hobbit-inspired clip dubbed "The most epic safety video ever made"
Pumpkin spice is the flavour of the month - but can you stomach the sweetness?

Pumpkin spice is the flavour of the month

The combination of cinnamon, clove, nutmeg (and no actual pumpkin), now flavours everything from lattes to cream cheese in the US
11 best sonic skincare brushes

11 best sonic skincare brushes

Forget the flannel - take skincare to the next level by using your favourite cleanser with a sonic facial brush
Paul Scholes column: I'm not worried about Manchester United's defence - Chelsea test can be the making of Phil Jones and Marcos Rojo

Paul Scholes column

I'm not worried about Manchester United's defence - Chelsea test can be the making of Jones and Rojo
Frank Warren: Boxing has its problems but in all my time I've never seen a crooked fight

Frank Warren: Boxing has its problems but in all my time I've never seen a crooked fight

While other sports are stalked by corruption, we are an easy target for the critics
Jamie Roberts exclusive interview: 'I'm a man of my word – I'll stay in Paris'

Jamie Roberts: 'I'm a man of my word – I'll stay in Paris'

Wales centre says he’s not coming home but is looking to establish himself at Racing Métro
How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?

A crime that reveals London's dark heart

How could three tourists have been battered within an inch of their lives by a burglar in a plush London hotel?