There's a rash of abominable dishes being served up in the name of pizza. But, asks Will Dean, whoever thought it needed reinventing anyway?

Tomorrow: Check into Francis Ford Coppola's latest hotel, Palazzo Margherita which has just opened in Italy. The film director and hotelier – who has retreats in Belize, Guatemala Argentina and the US – promises "frescos on its ceilings ... and palatial rooms" in his first European hotel (palazzomargherita.com).

Simon Callow – actor, director and writer – doesn’t have many regrets, but he says he would love to have joined a circus. He would be “a clown of course.”

1. Alan Carr (PI: 92)

This week I've been eating...Longhorn rump steak

News in from Marks & Spencer: to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee it is introducing some "Best of British" treats that will include the Great British Breakfast Pizza.

New Year Honours: Unsung Heroes

He came to start a food revolution. But Jamie Oliver has been accused by one of America's most influential groups of health professionals of instead contributing to the nation's obesity crisis.

The presents are under the tree, which means that it's time to try your hand at Simon O'Hagan's fiendish brainteaser. If you dare...

As the forces of commerce gather for the fast-approaching festivities, we would do well to guard against another stain that has, of late, indelibly marked the spirit of the season: "alternative" takes on our cherished traditions.

Please excuse me while I have a wry laugh at this news just in: US Congress has a law going through that will allow schools in America to list pizza as a vegetable.

All is quiet in big skool comon room as we digest our jamie oliver-aproved dinner. I am reklining while a junior tick do my eng. prep for me or coarsework as we now call it in my case it is often very COARSE indeed ha ha. Basil fotherington-tomas is reding the newspaper he is a wet.