'Should micro-cress not be considerably smaller than this?" I opine, staring down at the arguably macro vegetation crowning my prawn and abalone salad in a swanky Kyoto dining-room. A notionally rhetorical question which nevertheless causes my companions to bust various guts in response. With not an ounce of self-awareness intact, it seems, I've been struck down by a case of über-gastro-poncery – something it will take more than a few of my signature ketchup sandwiches back home to relieve.

One year after the earthquake struck, Tim Walker finds it's business – and games, food and fashion – as usual in Japan's capital

It's not yet clear if there will be a broom cupboard in every room, but Nobu, the Michelin-starred restaurant where Boris Becker famously sired a daughter during a "five-minute thing" with a model, is opening a hotel.

Serves 4

With news coverage from Japan still studying the aftermath of disaster, it seems fitting that something be done to move the focus back to the nation’s reputation of dynamism and efficiency.

In The Red

I’ve had to move out of Cooperdome. The floor eventually collapsed under the weight of leaking water. The good news was that the useless plumber was in the flat at the time and suffered severe concussion as he fell through to the floor below.

The A-lister has come and gone. He turned up an hour-and-a-half late for dinner and the sushi chef was going crazy. I told him to cool it as it was hardly going to go cold. One of the givens of being an A-Lister is that you are late. If you turn up on time you are a loser.

Great excitement in the Brown household – we have a very important US VIP coming round for dinner later this week. I would love to tell you who it is but I would have to kill you and that would involve costly legal protection for me, and nobody wants that.

The follow-up to Dickner's debut novel, Nikolski, follows the fortunes of 17-year-old Canadian Mickey, the scion of a cement dynasty, and Hope, a redhead who has just moved into town with her survivalist mother.

Brazil's 'marvellous city' is as flamboyant, dramatic and seductive as ever – even in the South American winter.

The venue: Roka. It has great Japanese food which feels light and it's just enticing enough to ensure a guest turns up.

Netherlands v Japan: Today, Durban, 12.30pm, ITV1

In his previous food memoir Booth put himself through a Cordon Bleu course in Paris for the self-flagellating reason that he was "a worthless fraud".