For all the good that his 'relaunch' will do him, Miliband might as well have spoken in Klingon

It will be interesting to study the crowd when Sue Carroll, the chain-smoking, hard-living tabloid journalist who died from cancer on Christmas Day, is buried today in Richmond. A shop assistant's daughter from Newcastle Upon Tyne, she worked at the Sun, the News of the World, and latterly at the Daily Mirror, so her funeral will inevitably draw a galaxy of famous names from the tabloid press, past and present.

London's literati gear up for the ultimate test

A contestant on Mastermind who was called "astoundingly thick" after scoring only one point on his specialist subject has had his complaint rejected by the media watchdog Ofcom.

This column's sympathy goes out to the many unfortunate journalists losing their jobs at the News of the World – but particularly Gary Lineker. For while many hacks are justifiably upset by events, Lineker will be deprived not only of his column, but also of the chance to submit another principled letter of resignation. The ex-footballer relinquished his role with the Mail on Sunday when its Lord Triesman sting put England's 2018 World Cup bid in jeopardy. "The actions of the Mail on Sunday... have undermined the bid to bring the World Cup to England," he said at the time. And he was said to have been considering his role at NotW before yesterday's announcement, fearing that his reputation might be tarnished by association with the paper. (I am, of course, still awaiting Lineker's principled resignation from his estimated £1.5m-a-year job at Match of the Day, after the BBC broadcast Panorama's FIFA investigation in November: a programme widely credited with, er, undermining the bid to bring the World Cup to England. Ho hum.)

It's hard to think of Radio 3 having a sense of mischief, or even a sense of humour, but how else to explain the Light Fantastic season, which coincided with Glastonbury? It's as though someone said the Glastonbury coverage will be absurdly over the top as usual, so let's come up with something more way out, eclectic and frankly against the grain. Something that people would never listen to while eating organic beansprouts in a quagmire. And they managed it. It's certainly hard to think of 100,000 people wallowing in mud and competing for latrines to hear Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.

Prime Minister David Cameron told one of the BBC's most senior journalists to go "back to school" today after accusing him of failing to understand the electoral reforms being voted on in Thursday's referendum.

A quick-fire inquisition in the black leather Mastermind chair has long been regarded as the ultimate test of any trivia buff's knowledge and nerve.

Andreas Whittam Smith once observed that it is an act of madness for a journalist to write an open letter (see Melanie Phillip's blog of last Tuesday: "An Open Letter To The Culture Secretary"). So I will not begin with: "Dear George Soros." But if you have access to the liberal philanthropist, pass on this suggestion concerning Rupert Murdoch's purported plan to keep further allegations about the News of the World hacking scandal out of the press. By offering bug-ees more than precedent insists a court would award, News International doesn't have to give evidence under oath in court. If Sienna Miller rejects Murdoch's £100,000 and is given less by a judge, for instance, she will automatically be liable for her costs and his. Mr Soros is a habitual victim of Murdochian malevolence. Glenn Beck has attacked him on Fox News in virulently anti-Semitic terms, by alleging that he was a Nazi collaborator while a teenager in Hungary, among other delights lifted from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. If Mr Soros fancies revenge, he could indemnify anyone who wants to go to court but not to risk bankruptcy. It would cost Mr Soros millions to pick up the tab for even a few cases. But that's loose change for some mischievous fun.

Presenters of Radio 4's Today programme are not too aggressive, the BBC's governing body said today.