Great cast but the plot needs a slap: who vomits on your coffee table then stays for a chat?

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Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (PG)

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Michael Caine

Simon Munnery: Hats Off To The 101ers, And Other Material, Soho Theatre, London

“The arch of limited triumph” says the mild-mannered Simon Munnery in the direction of a concertinaed piece of metal on stage.

Hannah and Her Sisters (15)

Starring: Mia Farrow, Dianne Wiest, Michael Caine

Cars 2 (U)

Voices: Owen Wilson, Michael Caine, Larry The Cable Guy

Michael Caine wants Harry Brown sequel

Sir Michael Caine wants to star in a sequel of 'Harry Brown'.

Delicious genius: Duffy exhibition

"I don't give a f*** what anybody thinks about me...I never wanted to be famous. Why? For what? So the doorman at Harrods can recognise me? What I care about is what my kids think about me, and what my grandchildren think of me - the fact that they think I'm a genius is delicious." - Brian Duffy

The Elephant to Hollywood: The Autobiography, By Michael Caine

It's all in the sea salt...not a lot of people know that

The men, muscle and money in homegrown blockbusters

As The Professionals and The Sweeney get big-screen reboots, Geoffrey Macnab asks if British action movies can take on Hollywood

The Dark Knight Rises: More fiendish than the Joker

The high-concept viral campaign for 'The Dark Knight Rises' might be the smartest film marketing yet

Culture Club: The Trip, Mondays, BBC2

Readers review this week's big TV series

Frank Jarvis: Actor who helped Michael Caine rob a shipment of gold in 'The Italian Job'

A square-jawed character actor who took bit-parts on screen for almost 50 years, Frank Jarvis was never a household name but will be remembered by fans of the cult film The Italian Job and aficionados of Doctor Who.

Deborah Ross: My 10 tips for Michael Winner

If you ask me...

Shirley Valentine/Educating Rita, Trafalgar Studios, London

Willy Russell's scabrous Scousers, Shirley Valentine (Saint Joan of the fitted kitchen units, with all her nosy-neighbour voices) and hairdresser Rita of the Open University, are still going strong after a quarter of a century. They are now as engraved in the national consciousness as Maggie May, resilient streetwalker of the Liverpool docks, or the battling socialist MP Bessie Braddock. This Menier Chocolate Factory transfer, for a summer season at the Trafalgar Studios, presents Russell's two plays in all their wit and vivacity.

Inception, Christopher Nolan, 148 mins (12A)

Christopher Nolan had the concept, the budget and the CGI – what a shame he fell asleep at the wheel
Career Services

Day In a Page

Countdown's rudest ever moments

Yesterday a contestant spelt the word 'minge'.
Special report: Tamil asylum-seekers to be forcibly deported

Special report

Tamil asylum-seekers to be forcibly deported
The problem with social mobility

The problem with social mobility

Politicians who say they want to break down Britain's social barriers have been told to unlock closed-shop professions – starting in their own backyard
France's sixth biggest city* goes to the polls (*that's London, by the way)

France's sixth biggest city* goes to the polls (*that's London, btw)

Next month expats in the stronghold of South Kensington will have a big say in who is returned as the first French overseas MP
Aftershock: How Haiti's quake hit the whole of Hispaniola

Aftershock: How Haiti's quake hit the whole of Hispaniola

Two years on from the disaster that shook the Caribbean state, its eastern neighbour, the Dominican Republic, fears a new wave of illegal immigrants could hurt its economy
Mean streets at the movies

Mean streets at the movies

Plan B's new film explores the urban tensions that led to last summer's riots – and he's not the only one finding cinematic inspiration in social unrest
Romney hits the magic number, but his smartphone app fails crucial spelling test

Romney hits the magic number...

... but his smartphone app fails crucial spelling test
Car-crash TV: Ferrari quits news after gaffes, rows and poor ratings

Car-crash TV: Ferrari quits news after gaffes, rows and poor ratings

Weeks after the demise of Sarkozy, the TF1 star he's said to have dated finds herself out of office too
Meet your doctor (please don't unplug it)

Meet your doctor (please don't unplug it)

Can a network of hi-tech terminals and online medics make the connection?
The 10 Best cycling gear

The 10 Best cycling gear

It’s summer, it's sunny... it’s the perfect time to get on your bike.
Song of the suicide bomber: How 'Babur in London' negotiated a cultural minefield

Song of the suicide bomber

Daring new opera 'Babur in London' features British terrorists planning an attack.
The school that brought the International Baccalaureate to the East End

Bringing the IB to the East End

The International Baccalaureate is not just for pupils in leafy suburbs.
England must beware brilliant Belgium

England must beware brilliant Belgium

They may have missed out on the Euros but the Belgians have a rash of young players who, thanks to the unifying skills of their coach, look to have a bright future
James Lawton: Liverpool must show new man the respect he needs to do the job

James Lawton

Liverpool must show new man the respect he needs to do the job
2012: the year when England's support decided to stay at home

2012: the year when England's support decided to stay at home

Three Lions will play their Euro 2012 games in front of only a few thousand of their fans