What's said in the dressing-room stays in there – so says a time-honoured football maxim. Matt Murray does not adhere to it, fortunately for the wider world, the Wolves keeper having used his time while recovering from a serious knee injury to chronicle Molineux's finest foot-in-mouth gaffes. When Wolves equalised at Barnsley, effectively clinching the Championship title, their jubilant fans were cleared from the pitch by mounted police. Left-back Stephen Ward was incensed. "Did you see those police horses?" Murray records him saying. "They're animals!" Ward was again the fall guy after Murray explained he had been to the city's Grand Theatre to do a picture with the seven dwarves to publicise a pantomime, asking: "What show's that then?" Another pearl, passed on by a physio, finds Andy Keogh being driven to London to see an ankle specialist. "Did your ears just pop?" asks the striker. "We must've been going over the Pennines." And he once played for Leeds. Jay Bothroyd, now with Cardiff, advised colleagues to invest in "bricks and water", and Richard Stearman told team-mates that his ankle scan showed he had "nicked an archery". Mick McCarthy's men are not alone in their unwitting wordplay. Your reporter has a colleague who did all his Christmas shopping "at Mataland". Another wondered whether Joe Hart was "illegible" to play against Manchester City. Wolves, meanwhile, face a tricky FA Cup tie today at Tranmere, who, as any of the players could tell you, play in Burke and Hare.