Stargazers had reason to fear the Mayans were a few days out with their predictions, when an asteroid scraped by Earth, a mere 4.3 million miles from direct collision last night.

Television: I just started watching the second series of The Killing. It's a commitment. The first series was 20 episodes. I almost felt like I was having an affair with it. I'd wake up in the middle of the night, sneak downstairs and watch an episode. I've also been watching re-runs of Arrested Development. It just sums up my sense of humour exactly. Also I've got a slight obsession with Jason Bateman.

What better work to inaugurate the newly named Harold Pinter Theatre (formerly the Comedy) than Death and the Maiden? Pinter was a friend of Ariel Dorfman, and, influentially, championed this 1990 piece. With its focus on the after-effects of political torture and the hideously vexed issue ofhow you achieve justice in a society emerging from violent dictatorship, the play’s revival now feels particularly timely in the light of post- Gaddafi Libya.

Having avoided 'Armageddon' by ensuring their Premier League survival, co-chairmen David Gold and David Sullivan have outlined their vision to take West Ham forward.

As befits a film that sees the end of civilisation as we know it, this unremittingly frantic disaster movie boasts a big running time, bigger product placements, and clichés that are bigger still.

Arsonist lied about 'abetting suicide' of man on remand in Leeds prison four years ago

The Couch Surfer: It took me days to recover from reading The Road. Why would I put myself through it all over again?

What would happen if some catastrophe laid waste to the earth and society broke down? A new film of Cormac McCarthy's novel The Road dares to confront these questions. Mark Lynas is awe-struck

Roland Emmerich, 158 mins

They look good on the uber-trendy child models in the ad campaign, and you know they'd look good on your offspring, too. As of yesterday morning, any pampered kid aged between the ages of 0 and 10 can work their new look from Stella McCartney – or more specifically, Stella McCartney for GapKids and BabyGap – while sipping their babyccinos. It's another coup for Gap, which has a successful history of bringing designers like Pierre Hardy and Roland Mouret on board to give their adult clothing some cutting edge. And when Hit & Run frisked the rails at 8am when the first collection hit stores yesterday morning, it looked like Stella had scored the chain yet another hit. She's designed exactly the sort of retro-cool clothes that will appeal to the adults buying the clothes.

First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills and Lord President of the Council... Pandora very much hopes that Baron Mandelson of Foy in the county of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the county of Durham hasn't let his ever-lengthening collection of titles go to his head.

Just what the doctor ordered

Famous unanswerable question of our time No 783: how is it that, when a silly, 33-year-old, "celebrity" former nurse turns down sex with a shouty, 58-year-old, hairy-arsed man, the next day's headlines finger her as a "slapper" and him as "the real deal"?

Guy Ritchie's latest offering is undoubtedly better than 'Swept Away' and 'Revolver', but then, what film could be worse than they were?