Annie Bell ladles out the recipes

For those paralysed by shame and self-loathing at the number of chocolates eaten this holiday, a cautionary tale: Donna Simpson of New Jersey consumed 30,000 calories during her Christmas lunch, including two turkeys, two glazed hams and three litres of gravy. Her aim is to one day weigh 70 stone.

Fashion detox. You've heard the puff. It's January: time to go through your wardrobe and get rid of anything you haven't worn for the past three/six/twelve months depending on how profligate you may or may not be.

... Humiliation at the hands of England. Kathy Marks reports

After the turkey, it's time for sales. For retailers, an opportunity to pile high and sell cheap; anything to shift unwanted stock and free up space. That same retail-based mentality seems to have seized the minds of coalition ministers as they move into 2011. They, too, plan on starting 2011 with January sales.

Greetings from the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne. OTFF can think of no better place to be. Australia v England, 1-1 in the Ashes series, the urn on the line, a sledging war being conducted, the ground full: name a better place to spend the holidays. So with the spirit of the season in mind, this column comes bearing gifts to the game from the MCG, known to locals in a wonderful display of one-upmanship simply as the G. In keeping with the times, the sledge of the year so far has to be Kevin Pietersen's attempt to intimidate Mitchell Johnson by asking for his phone number. Johnson subsequently called our Kev a smart arse, our Kev said he was merely trying to be friendly and "we're in cricket to make friends". There was, however, a twist when Kev was asked about his relationship with Mitch and, thinking he was off tape, said he had no relationship with Mitch. "I'm a bloke."

After being sacked by Leicester and then out of work, SPOTY nomination topped off an incredible year

When the King George is finally run at Kempton tomorrow, Tony McCoy should steer dream mount Kauto Star to five on the trot

Prices slashed by up to 75 per cent to attract cautious shoppers while dissent grows over fairness of cuts

What I Learnt This Christmas Week

This Christmas is supposed to be the most miserable ever – but our writer has found 25 compelling reasons for good cheer

The title sequence for Christmas with Gordon featured a chef's knife smashing through a bauble, a cheering sight for anyone who finds this time of year just a tiny bit wearing. The programme itself, though, had fully signed up to the mood of can-do bonhomie that infects the airwaves at this time of year. "I love Christmas," Gordon assured us, before promising that he was going to help us make our Christmas "stress-free and delicious". The secret, he said, helpfully, is to get as much done in advance as you can. Good advice that, but where exactly is "advance" going to fit? Gordon himself was looking relaxed because he was presumably filming this some time in September, and it probably gave him a welcome break from dealing with his in-laws. But anyone watching the programme last night would only have two nights left for "advance", and then only if the family agreed not to eat anything else between now and Saturday, and agreed to get their presents in the Amazon box they were delivered in.

Gorillaz will release a new album on 25 December. It's not as strange as it sounds – sales of music downloads and ebooks are turning Christmas Day into one of the busiest of the year, says Rachel Clare

Whether you're slobbing on the sofa or schmoozing the in-laws, it isn't just your tree that should be well-dressed this Christmas, says Harriet Walker