An 11-year-old girl needed hospital treatment after binging on a "vast quantity" of vodka, police said.

Who knew that Dan Aykroyd, writer and star of Ghostbusters, has webbed toes? Who ya gonna call if you're born with two toes fused together by shared tissue? No one, that's who.

Has there ever been a more glorious title for a programme as Radio 5 Live's Drunk Again: Ann Widdecombe Investigates? Prior to listening, I had visions of Britain's newest national treasure three sheets to the wind, wobbling out of a Wetherspoon in mini-dress and heels at one in the morning, and trying to snog a policeman.

Tuesday morning is an ambitious time to invite anyone for cocktails. You run the risk that entirely the wrong sort of guest will turn up – the under-employed and overly thirsty. Not the sort with whom you necessarily want to spend your weekday mornings.

Like your drinks with twist of celebrity endorsement? If so, we hope you're thirsty, as there are more than ever to choose from. Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas has announced she is teaming up with charmingly named rapper, Pitbull, to launch a low-calorie vodka, Voli.

The hair/make-up

A group of 11 men plied girls as young as 13 with drink and drugs so they could use them for sex, a court heard today.

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This week I've been drinking...Snowballs

Outlook Johnson County in Kansas is one of the wealthiest suburbs in all of America. Everything always works, everyone always smiles and it is nearly always sunny, even if it is freezing cold. You'd like it.

Makes 1 large or 2 small glasses

Ringleaders jailed after police raid farm where 165,000 bottles of deadly drink were produced

My worst moment in Edinburgh was when I got paid £20 to leave the stage at The Comedy Zone in the Pleasance. It was 2005 and I wasn't really suited to the rough-and-tumble of the room at weekends, where it was considered more "edgy" to down a pint of Stella with a vodka shot in the top than it was to talk about a squirrel biting my hand. Which is what I was doing at 11pm on a Saturday night. Once it had been decided by a Scottish man that the only way to get this over with was to pay me to go, a £20 note snaked its way down from the back and into my soon-to-be-tear-soaked hands before I went and spent all of it on whisky.