The 5 Polish phrases every Briton needs

The latest figures from the 2011 census reveal Polish has overtaken Punjabi as England's second language. 546,000 citizens now cite Polish as their native tongue, a rise which can be attributed to the influx of Polish immigrants following the expansion of the EU in 2004. (If this seems a small number, it should be noted many second generation immigrants speak Polish, Punjabi or another language as a second language after English.)

As well as an interesting insight into modern Britain, it seems a perfect opportunity to brush up on our Polish. So here are some phrases you might like to try out during your next trip to the local Polski Sklep...

UPDATE: We thought we could get away with using Google Translate. We were wrong. Lots of very kind (and clever) Polish-speaking readers of Independent Voices wrote in to provide us with superior translations which have now been included below. Dziękuję!

The 10 Best vodkas

Whether you’re fixing yourself a strong martini or simply serving it over ice with lime, we’ve got the pure spirit for the job...

The Week In Radio: The spirit sinks as Widdy has one too many whines

Has there ever been a more glorious title for a programme as Radio 5 Live's Drunk Again: Ann Widdecombe Investigates? Prior to listening, I had visions of Britain's newest national treasure three sheets to the wind, wobbling out of a Wetherspoon in mini-dress and heels at one in the morning, and trying to snog a policeman.

Trending: The celebrities appearing in a pub near you

Like your drinks with twist of celebrity endorsement? If so, we hope you're thirsty, as there are more than ever to choose from. Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas has announced she is teaming up with charmingly named rapper, Pitbull, to launch a low-calorie vodka, Voli.

More headlines

My Edinburgh: Isy Suttie, Comedian

My worst moment in Edinburgh was when I got paid £20 to leave the stage at The Comedy Zone in the Pleasance. It was 2005 and I wasn't really suited to the rough-and-tumble of the room at weekends, where it was considered more "edgy" to down a pint of Stella with a vodka shot in the top than it was to talk about a squirrel biting my hand. Which is what I was doing at 11pm on a Saturday night. Once it had been decided by a Scottish man that the only way to get this over with was to pay me to go, a £20 note snaked its way down from the back and into my soon-to-be-tear-soaked hands before I went and spent all of it on whisky.