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Dom Joly: Eurovision's host likes things puny or phoney. Perfect

I didn't watch The Eurovision Song Contest. Actually, I'm not sure I've ever seen it, but I'm certain that it's not for me. For once, I agree with the government of Iran when it berated its little neighbour, Azerbaijan, for hosting this most peculiar of musical institutions. I did catch an airing of the Engelbert Humperdinck video, and that was enough to put me right off my breakfast. If the Iranians hear it, then I'm pretty sure they will invade immediately. In the subsequent interview, The Hump was being harassed by the loathsome Jedward, but he put up with them in a remarkably patient manner. As if the lobotomy twins weren't enough, The Hump was then asked to comment on the human rights situation in Azerbaijan. He played the "I'm only a lowly singer" card: he had been asked to come and sing a song and that's what he was going to do. The interviewer didn't even bother to question Jedward on their political views. As terrible as the regime's behaviour might be, I for one would turn a blind eye if Jedward were to be detained without trial for a prolonged period of time after their performance was over.

James Moore: Splash out on United Utilities and you'll be singing in the rain

Investment View: Spending on water bills is not discretionary, spending on the high street definitely is

Robot fish join battle against sea pollution

Robot "fish" developed to improve pollution monitoring took to the water yesterday at the start of sea trials.

Water providers warned over drought-stricken areas

Water providers came under increased pressure from the industry watchdog today to ensure drought-stricken areas are helped by regions with more plentiful supplies.

Record April showers end drought in 19 counties

The hosepipe bans have not been lifted just yet, but river levels are returning to normal

People shelter from the rain in Greenwich Park this week

Why hasn't April's rain been enough to tackle the drought?

A hosepipe ban for 20 million people in south and east England in the face of widespread drought has been followed by the wettest April on record.

Warnings of flash floods as Britain set for a 'real soaking'

Parts of Britain might be in the middle of a drought, but some areas of England and Wales are braced for the possibility of flash floods this weekend as the deluge continues at the end of a week of heavy rain.

More rain and 60mph winds warning as poor weather continues for the UK

Much of England and Wales will experience further downpours today while strong winds of up to 60mph are set to batter parts of the UK over the weekend.

Call for 600m fracking limit

Controversial "fracking" for shale gas should only take place at least 600 metres down from aquifers used for water supplies, scientists said today.

Rain fails to alleviate drought

This week's heavy rain has not alleviated the drought gripping swathes of the country, the Environment Agency said today.

Cambodia's stock market begins trading for first time

Trading on Cambodia's stock exchange started today after a state-run company completed its initial public offering.

Water companies' 'unnecessary' pipe insurance costs consumers more than £100m, says Which? report

Most of the UK's biggest water companies are promoting potentially unnecessary insurance costing consumers more than £100 million a year, according to a watchdog.

The much needed rain looks set to continue over the weekend, and comes amid a drought and hosepipe ban in most of the South and East of England.

Drought hits half of UK and water shortages may last to Christmas

Half of Britain is now officially in drought, in the worst national water shortage since 1976 – a situation that may last until Christmas or beyond.

Drought-hit water firm may buy in supplies

The hosepipe ban has put certain water firms under such pressure that at least one is considering deals with other companies across the country.

Career Services

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Next in line – but public just can't warm to idea of Charles in charge

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Nothing's sacred: the illegal trade in India's holy cows

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Andrew Buncombe reports from Kaharpara on a bloody war between rustlers and border guards
Mogul grounded: Desmond gives up his jet deal

Mogul grounded: Desmond gives up his jet deal

Media tycoon's company pays £1m to cancel his order for a £36m private jet after drop in profits
How Ai Weiwei built a pavilion in London – by remote control

How Ai Weiwei built a pavilion in London – by remote control

The artist tells Clifford Coonan how he used Skype to escape confinement in Beijing
Nature, nurture... or neither? The new twist in an age-old argument

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The new twist in an age-old argument
Radio 4 to shed its cosy image with a 'sexy' Ulysses drama

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New station controller wants to reflect the current period of 'turmoil and uncertainity'
Alcohol: I drink therefore I am

Alcohol: I drink therefore I am

New guidelines warn Britons to drastically reduce their boozing. But is a life without liquor worth living? Hell no, says John Walsh
The Cable News Nightmare: CNN (and Piers Morgan) in audience crisis

The Cable News Nightmare

CNN (and Piers Morgan) in audience crisis
Like a barbie, but better: The Big Green Egg can griddle, roast, and smoke food - and even make pizza

The Big Green Egg: Like a barbie, but better

It can griddle, roast, and smoke food - and even make pizza...
The 10 Best chopping boards

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Whether you want to dice veg, chop meat, or just slice up a salad, there’s a surface here to suit every culinary need.
Flat and fabulous: From wraps to foccacias, our appetite for new and exotic breads knows no limits

Flat and fabulous: Exotic breads

Lucy McDonald visits the bakeries of Tel Aviv to to find out what we'll be eating next.
Brendan Rodgers: Just like Mourinho... only different

Brendan Rodgers: Just like Mourinho... only different

Obsessive, ambitious, eager to learn and with no playing career; can the Northern Irishman be Liverpool's Special One?
Gary Lewin: Players need winter break

Gary Lewin: Players need winter break

The England physio tells Patrick Barclay that this spate of injuries is due to the non-stop demands of the Premier League

Countdown's rudest ever moments

Yesterday a contestant spelt the word 'minge'.
Special report: Tamil asylum-seekers to be forcibly deported

Special report

Tamil asylum-seekers to be forcibly deported