BEAM ME DOWN, SCOTTY
This week's random coordinates picked by the computer are:; Latitude: 47 58' N Longitude: 59 57' E
Sunday 17 August 1997
Kazakhstan, approximately 200km north of the Aral Sea.
Nearest human settlements
This is a very thinly populated area, though a village named Kort-Tas lies about 55km west. The small town of Shalkar, 60km south, is on the main Moscow to Tashkent railway and has a minor airport.
GMT plus 4 hours
Nature of terrain
The general area is an barren mix of steppe-like grassland and desert, though small pockets of parched wheat-growing land are nearby.
Dust storms of sand, salt, poisonous chemicals and radioactive waste sweep up from the man-made deserts around the Aral Sea to the south.
Kazakh, Russian. At a pinch, German, Uzbek or Tartar.
Take me to your leader
President Nursultan Nazarbaev
Likely weather conditions
Very hot and dry, with maximum summer temperatures reaching between 30C and 40C. The average annual rainfall in this area is less than 8mm.
What to play
Try to join in with the wild horsemen of the steppes and get a game of kokpar, a version of polo in which the pitch is three miles long and the 'ball' is the headless body of a dead goat.
Reason for staying in the area
To see the ghostly abandoned fishing ports on the dried-up Aral Sea, site of the world's worst ecological disaster. Rusted old hulks of ships lie 70 or 80km miles from the nearest drop of water.
Getting the hell out of there
If you walk in a general east/south-east direction over the barren steppe you will reach the main railway in about 15 hours. Follow the line in a south-easterly direction towards Shalkar. From here you can be in Moscow by train in 40 hours, or in Tashkent in 24.
The Independent travel offers: Discover a world of inspiring destinations
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Vladimir Putin is given 'one last chance' to end hostilities in Ukraine
The 'scroungers’ fight back: The welfare claimants battling to alter stereotypes
The truth about conspiracy theories is that some require considering
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Ukrainian military jet was flying close to passenger plane before it was shot down, says Russian officer
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Massive rise in sale of British arms to Russia
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: victims’ bodies bundled in black bags and loaded onto trains
£40000 - £60000 per annum + Pension, Healthcare : Deerfoot IT Resources Limite...
£30000 - £45000 per annum + Bonus+Benefits+Package: Harrington Starr: VB.NET a...
Unpaid voluntary role: Old Royal Naval College: To assist the Visitor Experien...
£45-£55k OTE £75k : Charter Selection: Major London International Fashion and ...