Beam me down Scotty

This week's random co-ordinates chosen by the computer are:

70 41' N 102 16' E

First Reaction

Don't even bother. You'll be unconscious within minutes, and dead in an hour.

Country and Region

Bad luck, you have landed in the Krasnoyarskiy Kray region of northern Siberia, about 30 kilometres (19 miles) west of the Kotuy River.

Nature of the terrain

Snow and ice as far as the eye can see. Winter started a couple of months ago in these parts and you won't see any trace of the original tundra that temporarily peeps out in summer.

Altitude

About 1,000 feet.

Possible Hazards

There's no "possible" about this one: death and instant rigor mortis through temperatures currently plunging towards -40C degrees (unless you happen to have arrived in your polar duck-feather duvet coat).

Useful Languages

In all honesty, none. But if you really think you can talk your way out of this one, Russian and certain Ural-Altaic languages might come in handy.

Take me to your Leader

President Boris Yeltsin will never learn as much about this place as you will today.

Likely weather conditions

Keeps cropping up this one. But if you really want to know about the quality of Siberian snow, it'll be light and extremely fine, like blowing ashes.

Reasons for hanging around

Categorically none at this time of year, unless you have a keen interest in the impact of ice on the environment.

Getting the hell out of there

Basically you are going to have to walk the 120 kilometres north to Khatanga which is the nearest town of any description. It has an airstrip but don't expect any supply planes before next summer. Bear in mind that if the wind gets up you will be dead.

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