Warner is one of many holiday firms that now caters for the childphobic with numerous brat-free breaks across the UK. It has recently brought out its "Just For Adults" brochure for 1998, which includes stays at country hotels such as Littlecote House and Nidd Hall and "Leisure Villages" on the Isle of Wight and the Suffolk coast, amongst other locations. The holidays provide short doses of indulgence with the chance to eat steamed jam roly poly, play tennis or have your hair done. The brochure is full of precise information (down to the fact that people with infectious diseases may be asked to leave) and the prices are modest, starting at pounds 74 for a two-night Valentine's break. The only worrying thing is that although kids are verboten, Warner actually pays people like Bob Monkhouse and Jimmy Tarbuck to "entertain" you on the Warner's Premier Starbreaks. Now that is an unpleasant thought.
The new brochure for Oasis Forest Holiday Villages will calm the nerves of those who prefer to holiday as a family. Set in 400 acres of Cumbrian countryside, the owner (the Rank Group) of this self-catering facility promises "natural living and the very best of accommodation, sports and leisure facilities, restaurants, bars and entertainment." Judging by the pictures of kids on mountain bikes, chalets in the forest, and elegant dining spots, the Oasis is a sort of eco Butlins for the Nineties. What's more, it has lots of all-weather facilities, including an extraordinary waterworld of pools, spas and fountains, which means that you can have fun even in the winter.
Finally there's a new, and very cheap looking, brochure from Bridge for its London Travel Service. Full of drab shots of hotel rooms, it makes the capital look totally unappealing . Midweek breaks are from pounds 79.
Warner Just for Adults, tel 01705 492121; Oasis Forest Holiday Villages, tel 0990 086000; London Travel Service, tel 01992 456177.