The Hospital Club, Covent Garden: Room service

The place is so large that you can hide yourself away if you can’t stand any more air kissing and 'my darling'-ing

Bright idea: the club’s colourful interiors (Paul Winch-Furness)

Staying at The Hospital Club in Covent Garden feels like returning home, if your home is 1970s Santa Barbara and you have more money than God. The website describes the rooms as “sumptuously fitted-out” and that they are; the crushed velvet sofa in my room probably cost more than a lot of people’s kitchens. But the place is owned by Paul Allen, co-founder of Microsoft and worth $17.5bn, so perhaps it ought not come as too great a surprise.

The seven-storey club was founded in 2004, by Allen and the Eurythmics’ Dave Stewart, who set out to create a place in which members could (and I quote) “Create. Connect. Collaborate.” This makes it sound like pretension ground zero, but it isn’t; the clientele tend to be besuited advertising, PR and TV folk but the atmosphere is relaxed and the place is so large that you can hide yourself away if you can’t stand any more air kissing and “my darling”-ing.

The 15 bedrooms were added this year, and one of the great attractions of staying here is breaching the red brick walls without paying the £800-a-year membership fee (a trend that is taking hold in other members’ clubs). Inside there are four different bars and a restaurant, a screening room, gallery space and several function rooms. Few London hotels can compete for entertainment (and boozing) opportunities. The only thing one could want more would be a spa and pool, but then lots of other places in the city lack both.

Bright idea: the bathroom

Location

You can imagine the rooms will be a hit with Londoners wanting a night of pampering, but they will also doubtlessly attract out-of-towners. It is about as good a location for a tourist as you are likely to get: far enough from the rowdiness of Soho for it to be quiet at night, but only 10 minutes’ walk away when rowdiness is what you are in the market for.

The Royal Opera House and the Donmar Warehouse are just around the corner and you can barely exit the club without falling across the threshold of a well-appointed eatery: the Hawksmoor steak restaurant and Palomar, which serves Israeli food, are both close by and brilliant.

And, when you have exhausted all of the club’s bar options, there is Seven Dials’ Monmouth Coffee across the way, perfect for the morning after. Now that is convenience.

Comfort

It is cliché to say “you might never leave your room”, but in this case, it is true. I barely left mine, ordering dinner from the solid, if not quite thrilling, 7am-midnight room service menu and making use of a drinks cabinet full of bottles of freshly pre-mixed cocktails. The rooms, designed by the Russell Sage studio, are beautiful, in a sort of high-kicking Seventies way. You just want to sit and greedily drink them in, or else throw a massive party. You could of course have a business meeting in one, too, if that is your bent.

Hospital Club - Exterior

Rooms come in various sizes: crash pad-style small, medium, large, and suite. The latter is equipped with a vast bathroom with roll-top bath and shower for two, a sitting room and a private, wood-lined smoking terrace. All rooms have iPod docks, a radio and large TV as standard. Wi-Fi is free and relatively brisk.

The erotic minibar from Holloway Smith Noir strikes a bit of a bum note. Would not the committed user of tie cuffs and paddles bring their own (especially if they cost £149 a go, as here)? It all seems a little overdone. The rooms are sexy enough on their own, without this Fifty Shades push. The “inspirational” printed notes from The School of Life, Alain de Botton’s “forum for pragmatic philosophy and lifestyle self-realisation”, are also, well, a little annoying.

The staff, however, are very good indeed. A small confusion at check-in was quickly rectified and smoothed over. Food arrived promptly and with a smile. And a barman with a trolley visits all the bedrooms at 7pm to mix you an in-room cocktail – as welcome an hotel innovation as I know.

Travel Essentials

The Hospital Club, 24 Endell Street, London WC2 (020 7170 9100; thehospitalclub.com/bedrooms).

Rooms *****

Value ****

Service ****

Doubles start at £180, room only. A full breakfast costs £12.