A survey reported on GMTV recently that nearly a third of British kids think holidays are boring. It seems that we parents just can't get it right, no matter how far backwards we bend to keep our little treasures amused.
Perhaps we should send 'em away to summer camp, where at least we won't be able to hear them using the B-word. Failing that, I've found a plethora of activities to prevent them (and you) from climbing the walls for the remainder of the holidays.
For starters, the whole family can pick up some new life skills at the Wilderness Gathering, from 28-31 August (0845 838 7062; wildernessgathering.co.uk). This exciting Wiltshire event will teach your little scavengers all the bushcraft savvy they never knew they needed, from forest foraging to primitive fishing techniques.
For a cultured treat, meanwhile, let them express themselves on canvas. A three-day family painting and drawing extravaganza in Suffolk is now taking bookings. So, on 22 August, grab your easels and head for Flatford Mill, where you and your little impressionists will learn the secrets of wildlife painting and drawing (0845 345 4071; field-studies-council.org).
But if it's adventure and derring-do your children really desire then I've found just the thing. Taster days are being run throughout August by itry, an activity company based in Snowdonia (0844 902 2970; itry-snowdonia.com). This is the perfect opportunity for youngsters to exhaust themselves completely: they can try their hands at everything from abseiling and rib riding to jumping off sea cliffs.
I challenge them to use the B-word.