Brit in a jam overseas? Don't expect a diplomatic response

Helping distressed Brits abroad is part of the job description for consular officials but their willingness to oblige has it limits.

While they have a reputation as consummate diplomats in their dealings with foreign powers, British embassy officials are growing exasperated at the demands made by their own nationals.

Helping someone who has been seriously injured in a car crash is one thing, they say. Answering questions on the best way to make jam is quite another.

Yet such a query on boiling up preserves was one of the bizarre and unwanted inquiries consular officials have had to field from British holiday-makers and ex-pats. It is, however, by no means the only one or even the most ridiculous.

"Can you help my teenage son pack his suitcase?" one consular worker in Florida was asked by a concerned mother.

A common expectation among Britons who have been arrested abroad is, "You can get me out of prison - I'm a British national." Other common calls on consular staff are for help in finding missing sunglasses and in paying bills.

Embassies have had to respond to inquiries about how to make naughty children behave and one was even asked for advice by a woman still unhappy with her breasts after she had surgery to enlarge them.

"Some people think the embassies are tourist information centres," said a spokeswoman for the Foreign and Commonwealth Office.

Frustration at the level of ignorance and unrealistic expectation on the part of Britons abroad has prompted the FCO to call on travellers to be a better-informed about the role of embassies which deal with 2.1 million inquiries annually.

"Our embassies are not there to provide weather reports or give advice on unruly children. Consular staff are there to help Britons in real difficulty abroad," said Chris Bryant, Minister for Consular Affairs.

Juliet Maric, the British Consul in Alicante, Spain said: "If you have a serious problem abroad – maybe you've been involved in an accident, have lost your passport or are a victim of crime, we can help you. But we can't tell you who is allowed to use your swimming pool, pay your taxi fares for you – or do anything about the exchange rate. We regularly get enquiries from people who think we're a one-stop-shop for any problem they might encounter while abroad."