Great Escapes: extreme hotels

What would Scarface think? The gangster properly known as Al Capone was the guest of the US federal government within the concrete walls of Alcatraz, the world's most notorious prison, for more than four years. He and his fellow inmates would dream of escaping from the "The Rock" – but these days, it seems, people are ready to pay good money to spend a night behind bars.

In the latest case of developers seeking ever quirkier sites for boutique lodgings, the owners of Alcatraz, now one of San Francisco's most popular tourist attractions, have announced plans to turn part of the bleak island into "the ultimate experience in visitor access". Whether that will include an exercise hour or solitary confinement for guests who make off with soap dishes remains to be seen, but one thing's for sure; it won't be the only contender for the title of weirdest hotel in the world...

GET A LIFT IN HOLLAND

This one-room hotel takes industrial chic to new heights. While most developers of former docks are content to give cranes a lick of paint and turn them into sculptures – or just tear them down – the people of Harlingen had loftier ambitions.

The Crane Hotel still has its original observation windows, but the machine room has been converted into luxury lodgings with a flatscreen TV and a designer bathroom. Best of all, controls in the driver's cabin allow you to swivel the whole thing for a new view of the Dutch coast.

www.vuurtoren-harlingen.nl

PIPE DREAMS FROM LINZ

A sewage pipe might more traditionally make a home for an escaped prisoner or a giant alligator (or, indeed, excrement), but one Austrian hotelier reckons a night in one isn't to be sniffed at. Das Park Hotel consists of several 10-ton concrete tubes dropped on a campsite near Linz. Accessed by a code entered into a keypad, they include a bed – but that's about it. After a night of pipe dreams, guests can vote with their wallets – bill-paying is voluntary.

www.dasparkhotel.net

ESCAPE TO THE HAGUE

Possibly not the best option for a first date, but if romance in tight spaces floats your boat, you could do worse than a sealed survival pod. After all, it worked for James Bond in From Russia With Love.

These orange capsules once saw service on North Sea oil rigs, but now they offer a refuge for canoodling couples in The Hague. Packages range from a survival offering complete with sleeping bags and emergency rations to a Bond-themed affair with moody lighting and Martinis.

www.capsulehotel.info

BEHIND BARS IN HELSINKI

Guests on Alcatraz won't stay in cells, now part of the museum, but there are plenty of choices for those looking for a true prison experience. Hotel Katajanokka in Helsinki, Finland, was a jail until six years ago. The cells have been turned into guest rooms, while drinks are served in tin cups. Guests don't have to buy totally into the theme – prison slop runs to lobster – but packages include a ball and chain, prison clothes and "guilty" stickers.

www.bwkatajanokka.fi

MAKE A SPLASH IN KEY LARGO

Finding your way back to your hotel after a night out in a new city can be a challenge, but at least you don't usually have to don scuba gear and dive 21ft into a lagoon. Jules' Undersea Lodge at Key Largo, Florida is the world's first underwater hotel. Housed in a converted 1970s research lab, the aquatic accommodation is, shall we say, functional, with portholes for windows and hatches for doors. The chef dives down to prepare seafood dinners, while the DVD collection includes, predictably, The Abyss and The Life Aquatic.

www.jul.com

ROTTERDAM'S TV TOWER

Visitors to Rotterdam who have a fear of heights should give Euromast a wide berth. The 100-metre-tall concrete TV tower is a communications hub and tourist attraction by day but, at night, the lights are dimmed and the tourists are kicked out, leaving two luxury suites named Heaven and Stars. Each is appointed with a luxury bedroom and Jacuzzi, while the giant windows offer unbeatable views across the city. There's Wi-Fi, and you'll get pretty much any channel you want on the TV, but, perhaps surprisingly, there's no mobile-phone signal.

www.euromast.nl