How to annoy cabin crew
Former BA stewardess Yasmine Gibson lists her top 10 pet hates
Saturday 17 January 2004
ASK FOR AN UPGRADE
ASK FOR AN UPGRADE
The only people besides the check-in staff who have the authority to upgrade are senior crew members. They won't do it just because you ask, unless you happen to be the captain's spouse.
SNEAK INTO THE BUSINESS OR FIRST-CLASS CABINS
There are some people who just won't take no for an answer and when no one is looking, they see a spare seat and hope that they will not be noticed. But the crew have a passenger list which, as well as giving them passenger details, tells them exactly which seats should be occupied. Culprits will be spotted and hauled humiliatingly back into "cattle" class.
ASK FOR HELP WITH YOUR BAG
You carried it on board, you can hoist it into the overhead locker.
DISRUPT THE SAFETY DEMONSTRATION
Agreed: some people travel a lot and already know the safety demonstration by heart. If they want to ignore the briefing that is their decision. But they should just sit quietly reading, rather than talk, laugh or try to mimic the crew. Don't bother - you'll get a tongue-lashing from any cabin crew member worth their salt.
DISOBEY THE FASTEN SEATBELTS SIGNS
The captain illuminates the signs for a reason: either the weather is turbulent or the plane is still ascending or descending.
COMPLAIN ABOUT THE FOOD
The meals are usually catered by a completely different company so it isn't the cabin crew's fault if you don't like your chicken chasseur. There is also not much that can be done at 30,000ft in the air if they run out of beef. However, if you graciously explain you cannot eat/are allergic to the choice that is left, the cabin crew might be able to find you a spare meal from another cabin.
PILE LOT OF RUBBISH ON TOP OF YOUR MEAL TRAYS
It is difficult to fit them all back in to the trolley anyway.
DEMAND A DRINK JUST AFTER THE MEALS HAVE BEEN CLEARED AWAY
After serving countless meals to passengers and being on their feet for hours with no rest, the crew finally get a chance to eat something. This happens when they have cleared all the rubbish in from the passenger meal service. If you value your life, wait 15 minutes or so after this is done before you hit the call button. If you are desperate then go along to the galley; this is slightly less maddening, but still annoying.
ASK THEM TO CLEAN THE LAVATORIES
This doesn't really come under the job specification of cabin crew. On a full long-haul Boeing 747 flight there are only marginally less than 50 passengers per toilet. It is a horrible job.
PROD MEMBERS OF CABIN CREW
There is something about uniforms that makes people think the people in them are public property. Cabin crew hate going on the Tube in uniform as it is impossible to travel incognito - people always stare or start conversations by asking where they are off to. Something about air hostesses makes certain passengers think it is all right to grab a skirt or prod a shoulder to get attention. They would never do this with other uniformed staff, such as police officers, bus conductors or soldiers. It's irritating. Please stop it.
AND FIVE WAYS TO INGRATIATE YOURSELF
1 Before they arrive to collect your meal tray, arrange it as it was when it was given to you, minus the food. As you pass it back to the crew, smile and say: "I just wanted to make it easy for you."
2 Take off your headset when a member of crew is trying to talk to you. It saves time and shouting.
3 Empathise with them. Remember if they are short-haul crew this might be their fifth flight of the day.
4 OK, you can read their badges and know what the crew are called, but try to avoid using their first names - they don't know yours and it seems overfamiliar.
5 Buy lots of duty-free goods: the crew get commission.
The Independent travel offers: Discover a world of inspiring destinations
Lincoln MP Karl McCartney 'denied all knowledge' of the Twitter activity
Detective novelist who wrote Death comes to Pemberley passed away peacefully at her home, aged 94
- 1 Sean Abbott: Messages of support flood in for bowler following death of batsman Phil Hughes
- 3 Girl, 7, gets Tesco to remove 'stupid' sign suggesting superheroes are 'for boys'
- 4 This letter from a reader explains why women can’t play football
- 5 'You should come to my house and eat cheeses with me': 4-year-old sends adorable love letter to girl at school
Ukip says babies born to immigrants in the UK should be classed as migrants – which would include Nigel Farage’s own children
Rochester by-election: Ukip gains second MP as Tory defector Mark Reckless holds seat
'Beast of Bolsover' Dennis Skinner takes Ukip MP Mark Reckless to task moments after he is sworn in
The young are the new poor: Sharp increase in number of under-25s living in poverty, while over-65s are better off than ever
Tamir Rice: 12-year-old boy playing with fake gun dies after being shot by Ohio police
Rochester aftermath: Sacking of Emily Thornberry will make work of Labour MPs '10 times harder'
£40000 - £60000 per annum + £100,000 OTE: h2 Recruit Ltd: Birmingham, Derby, L...
£55000 - £65000 per annum: Investigo: My client, a global leader in their fiel...
£45000 - £52000 per annum + bonus+bens : Investigo: My client, a global leader...
£40000 - £45000 per annum + Benefits : Investigo: One of the fastest growing g...