Inspectors for the guide work under cover, and are frank in their judgements: "The style sometimes descends into the twee", is the verdict on the Bear Hotel.
Watch clowns causing chaos? Head to Southport, where for the next five days 200 clowns will be wreaking havoc. They plan to disrupt retirements homes, hospitals and schools, and promise to try to kidnap Ken Dodd. It is not clear who might offer a ransom, nor how much it might be.
Splash out in Salvador? A woman's experience at a football match in El Salvador is spelled out in shocking detail in the new issue of Wanderlust magazine.
The favoured off-pitch activity at an under-21 match between El Salvador and Costa Rica, reports Francesca Pagnacco, was hurling plastic bags containing urine at opposing supporters.
On a similar theme, another story begins "Whenever I smell donkey poo, I think of Jerusalem." The magazine appears on 27 September, price pounds 2.50; call 01753 620426 for information on availability.
Visit the birthplace of Marco Polo in Croatia, the constituency of Tony Blair in County Durham and Gopalpur-on-Sea in India? Take off with the travel pages of the Independent this Saturday.Reuse content